Saved (Minnesota Caribou #5) - Colleen Charles Page 0,8
he’s simply an immature idiot who thinks he’s being funny. Probably barely graduated high school. Probably annoying the hell out of everyone he works with.”
How dare I bet on my mom’s life? You want to know how? Because that’s one bet I know I’d win. A loose cannon sent that photo, and I witnessed it with my own eyes.
She angles the phone, and my entire body ignites with heat. “I mean… is it big, or small? I guess I don’t really know much about these things. I haven’t seen an… many.”
Suppressing an overwhelming need to perform the sign of the cross, I sit on my hands. Since we don’t usually talk about our significant others, or lack thereof, I have no idea how many dudes are on Cora’s list, but I’m elated to know it’s not that many.
And I ignore how much I’d like to be the last name on it.
I clear my throat, but the lump of emotion hanging out there refuses to slide down. “Well, it’s not erect, so that makes it smaller than normal. I bet if it were hard, it would be considered big. Or at least bigger than average.”
She stares at my cock again, and I know another question is coming my way. Will I be able to answer it honestly? I hate lying to Cora—her more than anyone else, even my mom. Even if I tell her a little white one, I still feel like I’m betraying her trust. I steel my spine and take a deep breath.
“How much bigger would it get, do you think?”
Of course, I know exactly how much bigger it would get. I’m not sure which is worse in this bizarre situation. That she’s obsessing over some dick that she thinks is attached to another dude, or that I know it’s my dick she’s enthralled with and she doesn’t.
All I know is that my body hums and buzzes at the notion.
Hells bells.
Ignoring the pinch in my ribs and the rumbling in my underwear, I meet her gaze. “A few inches probably. Does that answer all your questions, nosy?”
She drops the phone back into her purse. “I guess. Nana mentioned calling the police and reporting it. Do you think that’s necessary?”
“No!” I lurch forward and my tiles spelling hard-on spill all over the glass tabletop, pointing toward my crotch, and the irony of that isn’t lost on me. “That is totally not necessary. Like they’ve got criminals to catch and all that. They don’t need to be bothered with a delinquent pranking a bunch of old ladies.”
“Okay. That sounds reasonable. I’ll just play it by ear depending on what direction Nana heads in.”
I spend the rest of our usually enjoyable evening imagining my fingers wrapped around Kane’s neck and also praying to God that Blanche doesn’t report me to Duluth’s finest. Because if she does, my balls are going to be in a vice as surely as my dick’s in her camera roll.
Chapter Four
Cora
“That new wool yarn is here, Blanche.” Lisa, the manager at Barb’s, pulls a skein off the shelf and hands it to Nana. The yarn is a subtle shade of lilac with a soft silver shimmer. It will look stunning against Nana’s silver hair after it becomes her next scarf.
Nana claps her hands together, sending her multitude of bangles clanging and twirling. “Ooh, let me see.” She holds it up to the light and squints but finally relents and grabs her glasses from the chain around her neck. “It’s perfect. Isn’t it, Cora Bean?”
I reach out to test the texture. “Yup. It’s totally you, Nana. You should make a beret to go with it.”
“A beret?” She fluffs her bob. “Do you really think I could get away with that?”
Lisa jumps in. “A beret would fit you to a tee, Blanche. I can show you how to make one the next time your knitting circle meets.”
“Well, throw that in my basket, Lisa. As many skeins as I’ll need to make a scarf and a matching beret.”
As Lisa pulls more yarn off the shelves, she turns toward us. “So I heard there was a ruckus the last time you ladies got together. And I’m not talking about Louise and Ethel fighting over the last cheese Danish. Go on now, Blanche, spill it. I trust you not to exaggerate.”
Nana fishes around in the huge wicker bag that serves as her purse. I swear you could fit a keg of beer in that thing. “Why don’t I just show you?”