bizarre moment. Dumping the soap in my hand, I followed the same actions, our forms moving around each other as we cleaned the blood and dirt from ourselves, reddish water pooling at our feet, sliding down the drain.
We didn’t touch, but I swore I could feel him glide and slither over my skin, sparking desire through my nerves. Losing myself, I shut my eyes, my senses heightening as the water pummeled my skin, the heat from his body skating over me feeling like hands.
Somewhere in my head, I knew I should be disturbed that this brutal and enigmatic legend was giving me comfort, soothing and centering me without a word or touch. His nearness made me feel I wasn’t alone. He was someone who might really understand what I was going through.
I opened my eyes, staring up at him. He watched me with a guarded expression, his chest heaving like he had been running.
“Why are you here?” I muttered.
“Because…” he muttered, his gaze heavy. “I know where you are about to go. The darkness will seep into you, blackening your soul if you let it.” His voice was rough, oozing down my neck, making me shudder. “What you had to do out there? Death demands payment from you as well. Compensation for living.” His words pierced my chest with truth, a truth few of us comprehended.
No one left the arena without paying in some way.
“He was your friend?” he asked gruffly.
I was fucking in love with you. Aron’s voice echoed in my mind, his pleading expression at the end.
I nodded, my throat closing. I wouldn’t have exactly called him my friend, but I had a bond with Aron that no one else had. He hadn’t been the only guy I had been intimate with, but he had been my first.
Without warning, my walls crumbled. The grief I had been holding back surfaced with a wretched sob, curling me forward. My hand slapped over my mouth, but the dam had broken, letting my anguish flow out.
Not many had ever seen me cry, only Caden after I lost my father and a few times when the teenage emotions got too much. But the last man in the world who should see me break ripped at my barrier, and I let it fall.
Silent sobs sucked out the air in my lungs. Grabbing for the wall, my spine curved as heartache ripped and clawed at my chest. Trapped behind my ribs, it couldn’t burst through and relieve me of the agony.
The misery, guilt, grief, disgust, and hate swallowed me whole. I slid down the wall and wrapped my arms around my legs. I let the agony plunge out of me and down the drain.
“I can’t...” I gasped for air, my nails scraping at my chest, needing to release the pain, sensing the darkness slipping into my head like fog. He was right; death had come to claim another huge chunk of my humanity.
His enormous physique crouched in front of me, consuming every inch of space around me, my gaze not able to avoid his massive cock, mingling thick desire along with my sorrow. He clutched my chin, pulling it up so I had to look at him, forcing me to suck in sharply. In that moment, I felt no panic or grief.
Or pain.
It was instant. Relief and serenity poured down on me like honey, soothing and thick, balancing my tipped universe.
“You can,” he growled. “And you will.”
The water rained down on us, his gaze drilling into me. Not a flicker of emotion showed on his face telling me what was going through his mind, but his aura pressed into me, engulfing and oddly empowering.
“You heard me earlier? In the pit?” The question stumbled off my tongue without thought, my tone curious and vulnerable, my gaze searching for something I couldn’t even name.
His jaw twitched, his forehead furrowing. His fingers slid from my face as he abruptly stood. Turning, he strode out of the room, completely naked and wet.
I sat there under the cool stream, staring into the vacant space he left. Zander and the two other guards rushed in, taking me in.
“Are you okay?” Zander started to walk toward me, but he stopped right at the shower line, anxiously shifting from foot to foot.
Was I all right? Far from it, but not for the reason I had walked in with.
I had the most disturbing sensation of feeling centered with him near and then off kilter the moment he left, a fear that something was