“Who? The angels? You’re going to let a bunch of angels push you around?”
“It’s God’s will,” Satan said.
“You really think that?” Death asked. “Have you talked to him? Did you see him? Did the Creator come down and say that to you?”
“No.”
“Then how do you know? All you’ve got are a bunch of uppity angels taking over Hell because they’re greedy. You’re part of the balance, you’re an essential part of the Creation, and just because you’re burnt out you’re going to let them take it away from you? Pathetic.”
“What do you want me to do?” Satan asked. “I don’t have any options.”
“I want you to get it together,” Death said.“When you fired me it was the wake-up call that I needed and now I’m giving you a wake-up call. You quit? You can’t do that. You’re Satan. No one pushes you around if you don’t let them.”
“I can’t do anything,” Satan said. “They’ve got me from all sides. The legal settlement, the Death Match, everything.”
“They are angels,” Death said. “You are Satan. Don’t ever forget that.”
“So what?”
“I’m going to give you something,” Death said. “This is the one chance you get. And either you’ll make something of it, or you won’t. I hope you do.”
He reached into his tattered robes and pulled out two pink invoice slips and slid them across the dusty tabletop.
“Go on,” he said. “Read them.”
Satan unfolded the flimsy invoices and scanned the pages, quickly. Then he stopped and re-read them slowly.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
“With the work stoppage they never got claimed. Totally overlooked. My minions are still keeping an eye on things and one of them brought these to me. They’re only clerical errors but they’re clerical errors you can take advantage of.”
“I don’t know,” Satan said.“Maybe it’s time for me to be done. Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m losing Hell.”
“Really?” Death asked. “You’re just going to roll over? What would you be without your job?”
Satan thought about it for a minute, then he stood up and walked to the back of the restaurant. He approached the Blue Woman’s table and stopped beside it.
“Hey, ghost?” he said. “What do you think I should do? Try to get my old job back? Or just let it go?”
The Blue Woman kept staring at her dusty table top and then, to Death’s great surprise, she spoke.
“I wish...I had...a job...” she said, softly. “Eternity...is so long...”
Satan turned that over in his mind for a minute, and then he nodded.
“Thank you,” he said.
He came back to the table.
“I need you to do two things for me,” Satan said. “I need you to give me a lift and I need you do me a favor.”
“What kind of favor?” Death asked.
And Satan told him.
“I don’t do that anymore,” Death said.
“I know. But just this once. For old time’s sake. I’ve even got some tractor trailer containers where you can store them.”
“That’s asking a lot,” Death said.
“Then I guess I’m not asking,” Satan said. “I’m ordering you to do it.”
“Where do you get off ordering me to do anything?” Death asked.
“Because I’m Satan, and you are eternally obligated to me.”
Death smiled and nodded.
“Okay. I’ll do it.”
“Thank you,” Satan said. “I got so used to things being the way they were that I needed a reminder.”
“Of what?”
“That eternity is a very long time and it helps if you have a job.”
“That’s the Satan I remember,” Death said.
“Oh,” Satan smiled. “I’m just getting started.”
Gabriel sat behind Satan’s old desk and smiled at Nero, Minos and Mary Renfro. They were huddled on the other side and they weren’t smiling, mostly because they were in shackles and surrounded by the biggest, angriest, most heavily armed angels in the Heavenly Host.
“It is so good to see the three of you,” Gabriel said. “I’ve met the little nun before, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually had a chance to say ‘hello’ to the other two.”
“We can’t tell you where Satan is,” Nero said.
“That’s all right,” Gabriel replied. “I’m not interested. In fact, I’m going to let the three of you go free.”
Minos and Nero exchanged sidelong glances.
“Why?” Nero asked, suspiciously.
“Because there’s nothing you can do to us anymore,” Gabriel said. “We have occupied Hell. There is a judgment against Satan for four hundred million dollars. It’s over, except for the Ultimate Death Match and I need you three free for that.”
“Why?” Nero asked again, starting to feel like a parrot.