Santa Soldier Bear - Meg Ripley Page 0,37

who’s coming and going.”

“Fine. You do that, Melody. Get your ledger book and note that I’m leaving today, catching a plane, and heading right back to Wyoming where I belong.” Roman picked up a pair of shoes from under the bed and slammed them into his suitcase.

Her eyes narrowed. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” he asked, throwing his hands in the air. “What does any of this mean?”

“You’re not making sense.” She wanted to reach out, grab his arms, and push him down on the bed. She wanted to make him sit and listen to her, to talk this through, to figure it all out in a rational way, but he wasn’t going to allow it. Her snow leopard was already reacting, growling in frustration at his stupidity.

“That’s fine by me, because there’s not a damn bit of my trip here that has made any sense.” Roman’s brows were a firm line as he zipped up his suitcase. “I came out here because Amar didn’t want me to spend the holidays alone. He thought I should be around him and meet all his friends so that he wouldn’t have to worry about me. What he didn’t realize was that I’m more alone here than I am anywhere else in the fucking world.” He breezed past her toward the door.

“Can’t we at least just talk about this?” She couldn’t let him go without speaking her mind, but right then, she didn’t know what to say. How could she tell him she was head-over-heels in love with him and wanted to find a way for them to work out when he was glowering at her from the doorway?

“I wanted to talk to you earlier today, as I recall, and you refused.” Roman shook his head as he set the suitcase down. In two quick strides, he was only inches from her face, and she could feel the heat and tension rising from his body. “Melody, I can’t keep doing this. There’s something between us, and I don’t think either one of us would try to deny that, but every time I turn the corner, there’s something else standing in the way of it. Everything I do, everything I feel, and every decision I make is wrong. I’d much rather go be wrong by myself, thank you.”

Arguments formed on the tip of her tongue, but they were quickly squashed by the urges of her snow leopard. As angry as she was with him, why did she want to reach out and pull him closer? Why did she want to press her lips against his and fall into bed the way they had that night after watching TV? Why did her big cat constantly remind her that there was so much more going on than what either of them could see on the surface?

No. She couldn’t just let her instincts guide her on this. Where would they be if they did nothing but act the way their wild sides demanded them to? Melody wanted to end her spinster streak, but it wasn’t worth it if she got stuck with someone who wouldn’t even sit and have a rational conversation with her. “Fine. I guess if that’s how it is, then who am I to stop you?” She shoved past him and stormed out into the hall, heading back to her room. The doorbell rang, but she ignored it. Someone else could get it.

Tears blurred her eyes, but she blinked them back as she paced cagily in her room. Roman wasn’t worth shedding any tears over. He was just another dick, like all the rest of them were. If he’d wanted to be with her, then he would have tried to find a way. It didn’t have to be up to her. She shouldn’t have to be the one to bow down and say she was wrong when he’d been plenty guilty himself. Melody curled her fists at her sides. Maybe it was time to get out and just take a long run in her feline form. Dashing through the woods and pretending the rest of the world didn’t exist sounded like the perfect prescription for what was ailing her.

She bumped into Emersyn again as soon as she left her room. “If you’re here to tell me to get my ass back in bed, don’t bother. I’ve been through enough for the time being, and I just need to get outside.” Melody put her chin in the air, thoroughly expecting Melody