The Same Place (The Lamb and the Lion #2) - Gregory Ashe Page 0,148
and after a moment the woman slammed the door.
“Thank you,” Jem said.
“For what?” Tean said, opening his eyes as widely as possible.
Jem caught his glasses before they could fall. As he resettled them, his smile got even bigger, and he said, “I’ve created a monster.”
40
A few days later, they were sitting in the DWR’s white Ford F-150, Tean behind the wheel as they drove up toward Emigration Canyon and the park where they had arranged this meeting. They wove through neighborhoods of older homes, where oak trees lined the sidewalks, already leafed out, their shadows dancing across the pavement. Jem smelled like something new, grapefruit and white musk, and he was wearing a button-up printed with dinosaurs: stegosaurus, brontosaurus, tyrannosaurus, velociraptor. He had changed pants four times before settling on his favorite jeans. Now he was checking his hair in the mirror.
“Can I have the emergency comb?”
“What is an emergency comb?”
“It’s a comb used in emergencies. What does it sound like?” Jem opened the glove box and began tossing its contents on the floor: the vehicle owner’s manual, a pack of Orbit gum, two pencils, disinfectant wipes, tissues that were so old they had turned gray. “Where do you keep it?” When Tean didn’t answer, he twisted in his seat. “Tean, where is it?”
“I’m sorry, this is too fascinating. It’s like making first contact, only it happens over and over again. I wonder what Captain Picard—wait. Do you actually have an emergency comb?”
“Just one?” Jem said with a disgusted noise. “Never mind. This is a mistake. Let’s turn around.”
“Jem.”
“My hair is ridiculous.”
As far as Tean could tell, Jem’s hair was perfect. He’d had the hard side part recently cut again, and on the sides and back it was that low, bristly texture that Tean wanted to rub. He resisted the urge and said, “Your hair looks great.”
Another of those disgusted noises. “I’ll trust a mirror over you. You look like you let Scipio groom you.”
“Hey! That’s not fair!”
“You’re right. Scipio would have done a better job. You know what? Right there. That’s the perfect spot to flip a u-ey. Tean, you missed it. Is something wrong with your head? Are you beating yourself up because you didn’t have an emergency comb?”
“Yes. Yes, that’s what I’m doing.”
“Please stop the truck.”
Tean slowed and pulled up to the curb. He looked over at Jem. Beneath the beard, the color was high in his cheeks, and his eyes moved restlessly.
“I shouldn’t have agreed to this,” Jem said. “I’m not ready.”
“Ok,” Tean said. “I’m not going to force you, but can I make a suggestion?”
“Yeah,” Jem said, and then he laughed explosively. “Yes, please tell me what to do because I’m about to have a nervous breakdown.”
“I can’t even imagine how scary this is, but I think you’re going to regret it if we turn around. My suggestion is that we at least get to the park. Then we can reassess how you’re feeling. I also think you should do some deep breaths. And I know you’re out of Valium—”
“Actually, I stole a bunch from Caleb, and I’ve been rationing them.”
Tean took a deep breath.
“Don’t be mad,” Jem said. “I didn’t take any today because—because I don’t know, but I just think I need to be clean for this.”
After another moment, Tean managed to say, “That’s probably a good idea. And I know this is easy for me to say, but I still think it’s the right thing to tell you: you need to—”
“Feel what I need to feel,” Jem muttered.
“That’s all. You don’t have to do anything with it. You don’t have to fight it or control it or make it go away. Just feel it and realize it’s just one part of you, and there are all these other parts too, and together they make up this amazing, wonderful person who happens to be my casual acquaintance.”
Jem tried to smile, but he mostly just swallowed. He put his hands to his face. His head dropped back. Then, sitting up straight again, he nodded.
“Would it be ok if I held your hand?” Tean said. He hadn’t even realized he was going to ask until the question had emerged. He wasn’t even sure where the question came from.
Jem nodded.
Tean took his hand carefully, lacing their fingers together loosely, surprised by how clammy Jem’s skin was. He squeezed once.
After a moment, Jem squeezed back. Then he turned and faced out the window; when he spoke, his voice was rough. “Let’s get this over with.”