Salmonella men on Planet Porno: stories - By Yasutaka Tsutsui Page 0,86

you saying you don’t find such things obscene?” Mogamigawa gave me a look laden with antipathy.

I blushed slightly. “No, I don’t find such things obscene.”

“In that case, why can’t you get in there?”

“Because I am obscene. Well no, in my case, I find it interesting and enjoyable to watch such things as an onlooker, call it voyeurism, peeping or whatever. But if you asked me to do such things in front of people, I suppose I would feel embarrassed, unnatural, self-conscious, and I wouldn’t be able to go through with it. They can see right through my mental framework, and that’s why I would be refused entry.”

“In other words,” said the Team Leader, appearing to have hit upon an idea, “the only earth humans who would be permitted to enter Newdopia are those who have a highly progressive attitude to sex?”

“Well yes, but from the natives’ point of view, that ‘progressive attitude’ would apparently not be progressive at all. That is, people who are said to have a progressive attitude to sex tend to link sexual liberation to anti-establishment movements, rebellion against the ‘old powers’, criticism of government control and the like. From the Newdopians’ point of view, such people cannot really be said to be pursuing or extolling sex acts at all. Apparently there was a member of the Sexual Liberation Alliance in the First Expedition. The Newdopians rejected her because she only wanted to take advantage of their behaviour to justify a low-level social movement. Anyway, she took to her heels and ran when she was approached by a Newdopian man who resembled a bear, I heard.”

“So just what sort of person can get in?” asked the Team Leader in a rather throwaway tone.

“Well, of course, the kind of person who has no metaphysical conception of the sex act, but who at the same time has an endless supply of powerful philanthropic urges towards the sex act itself.”

“In other words, then…” Mogamigawa widened his eyes and raised his voice in a tone of thorough disgust. “Someone who’s happy to have sexual intercourse with any partner, no matter who?!…” He stopped and scratched his head. “Why am I talking so loudly? Despicable. How low have I fallen since coming to this planet!”

The Team Leader suddenly adjusted his position and stared out to space. “Hmm. Well, we have a person of just that description, do we not.”

I looked at the Team Leader aghast. “Surely you don’t mean Yohachi?…”

“Who else,” replied the Team Leader, fixing his gaze on me. “Yohachi is surely the only person at the Base who has the mentality needed to enter Newdopia.”

“Impossible!” Mogamigawa shook his head as if to add, The very idea. “Even if he managed to get in, with his inferior intelligence he wouldn’t discover anything for us at all.”

“However, Dr Mogamigawa,” the Team Leader said abruptly, in a bid to persuade him, “even if he has no knowledge of medicine or biology, surely it isn’t beyond him to ask how they prevent pregnancy?”

“If Yohachi goes to Newdopia, we’ll never see him again,” I said with a grin. “Apart from anything else, Newdopian women are said to be universally beautiful – far beyond the likes of earth women. Didn’t the report say ‘The women were all like angels’?”

“What a banal expression,” said Fukada, turning away.

“Yes, but someone else could go with him,” argued the Team Leader. “He could wait near the Newdopian border and give Yohachi instructions from there. If the information Yohachi brings is unclear, he could be sent back repeatedly until an intelligible answer is received.”

My head sank. “You want me to go, don’t you.”

“Correct,” the Team Leader declared coldly, before turning to Mogamigawa. “And I think a knowledge of bacteriology will come in handy too. Could you accompany them, Doctor?”

Mogamigawa nodded casually. “I could do that. If we take the survey ship, we’ll be there in about an hour.”

“However,” interrupted the Team Leader, shifting uneasily in his seat. “We only have one ship, and it’s currently being used by the geo-mineralogists.”

“So you could contact Dr Nayama and order him to return immediately.”

“In fact, I was speaking to him by telecall just now,” the Team Leader said with a pained expression. “He says they won’t be back for another two days. As you know, he’s an obstinate so-and-so. He won’t take orders from anyone.”

“Of course, you did tell him how urgent the situation is.”

“Of course. But it was like water off a duck’s back. ‘Let her give birth, then just dump the thing