Sister secrets got kept, but Reese’s secret with her best friend got Rhiannon killed.
She couldn’t take the clog of memories as they clamored for space in her mind. A dam had been broken, each sight and scent, the sound of Ryder’s parents screaming and crying in their grief, were so clear to her, even as she left her bed and turned on the tap in her bathroom sink. Running cold water over her face didn’t eradicate the fury she’d spotted in Ryder’s eyes when the truth came out. It didn’t keep the memory of his father’s anger from leaking out right at Reese as well.
“An ectopic pregnancy,” the doctors had explained. “We discovered it too late.”
Reese stood up from the water, rubbing her face dry with a hand towel, scrubbing away the sleep from her eyes and the tears that had started to form. She looked at her reflection in the mirror, wondering if it was the excessive practice schedule or the lack of sleep coming up on the anniversary of Rhiannon’s death that made her look so haggard. There were bags under her eyes, and the lids were red-rimmed.
Sister secrets, she thought, holding the towel over her face. It smelled of fabric softener and the exfoliant she used after washing her face. Some had spilled onto the marble counter the night before, and Reese had used the towel to wipe it dry. She’d forgotten because she’d been so exhausted from Ricks’ workout. Last night, she’d believed she wouldn’t be able to move in the morning. She’d planned to sleep in. She’d planned to take advantage of the free Sunday and go to the lake, take the day thinking about Rhiannon and the short, beautiful life she’d led.
But the dream had come to her, fierce and biting.
Rhiannon’s body in that casket. Ryder not speaking to her, pulling away from her when she first saw her best friend lying there lifeless.
He’d left her.
She stood there staring down at Rhiannon—silent and stiff, her body rounder at the waist, her skin pale, hair curled in waves over her shoulders, feeling like an outsider. Mrs. Glenn had dressed her in a simple cotton sundress and a baby blue cardigan. The soft colors made Rhiannon look so young. Innocent.
Reese took her in, all of her, the sight of her lifeless body, the trimmed, bare nails and delicate silver ring on her pinky, the silver crucifix resting delicately on her chest, and Reese had wanted to wail and grieve and scream for the unfairness of it all.
She couldn’t.
She didn’t.
Reese hadn’t waited for her parents or her brother to join her at the funeral. She left early, not wanting their comfort, convincing herself she didn’t need it. With no one next to her, holding her, supporting her, Reese stood there alone, arms tight around her waist, body shaking from the effort it took to keep from crying. She felt like she no longer belonged in the family who’d taken her in. Only their families knew about Ryder and Reese. No teammates. No other coaches.
“No,” she sighed, seeing their faces as she stared into her bathroom mirror.
Mutters flew around her as she left the church and Ryder pretended he’d never touched her. He pretended he never loved her at all. His parents were too overwhelmed, likely over-medicated to even notice her.
Reese didn’t cry at the service or at the burial as she stood in the back of the crowd, watching Rhiannon’s parents huddle together, sobbing, their grief like a cloud around them no one could penetrate. Between their classmates and professors, her teammates, and Glenn family members, Reese watched Ryder. He kept himself still, no movement fracturing his smooth calm. No expression breaking over his face to give away how angry, how devastated he was.
She’d spotted Luke Ford near the cars, hiding with his father by a row of large oaks. His face was bruised, his bottom lip swollen with a cut that matched the size of the bandage across Ryder’s knuckles. He cried, loud, mournful tears that spread out like smoke through the crowd. He loved Rhiannon. Reese had seen that clear enough in every laugh he pulled from her, in every long, quiet look he sent her way.
Luke could have his tears, if not the comfort or forgiveness of the Glenn family. Reese would keep hers to herself. Like Ryder, she wouldn’t break. Not out in the open. Not when the crowd dispersed, and Reese’s family finally arrived, offering condolences to Ryder and his parents.