Saint (Angelview Academy #1) - E.M. Snow Page 0,98
him, my mind scrambling for what to do. The temptation to tell him everything is right there, stronger than ever. I’ve already shared so much with him, and he’s been surprisingly accepting of it all. I think it helps that he’s as broken on the inside as I am, just broken in different ways. If anyone would keep my secret…
“A year ago, my house caught on fire, and James was stuck inside it. He died, Saint. James is dead so you have nothing to worry about. Happy?”
The words are out of my mouth before I fully realize I’m saying them, and then they hang in the air between us like a miasma. His brow furrows, and he stares at me in disbelief. For a second, I don’t think he fully understands what I’ve just said.
“Huh,” he says at last, then turns from me to walk to his closet. My eyes go wide as my jaw drops. That’s it? That’s all he has to say?
“Umm, did you hear me?” I ask, moving after him as I pull on my shirt.
“Yeah.” He disappears into his walk-in closet and starts digging around for clothes.
“A-and … it doesn’t bother you at all?” I move to the door and peer inside after him.
He glances over his shoulder at me and shrugs. “Why should it? Shit happens. It’s not like you murdered the guy.”
My lips part in shock. It’s not like I didn’t murder him either.
“How are you so cavalier about this?”
He pulls on a pair of jeans, then digs out a black t-shirt before turning back to face me with it clutched in his hand.
“It is what it is. It happened. It’s done. It’s not my problem and doesn’t make you less fuckable.”
Oh, hello again Mr. Hyde, I thought I screwed you away…
He pushes past me, falling back into silence. I can’t help but watch him for several moments, completely baffled by his response. It wasn’t at all what I expected. It’s not really acceptance. He just doesn’t care.
I don’t really know how to feel about that.
“Okay, Saint.” I think it’s time to go. The atmosphere in the room is weird now.
Almost unbearable.
He doesn’t respond, so I turn for the door without another word.
“I’ll see you at the swim meet tonight,” he calls before I’m able to step out into the hall.
Blinking, I turn back to him. “Al-alright.”
He smirks and nods his head, then pulls his shirt on. With slow, hesitant movements, I shut the door and walk away from his room, feeling stunned and uncertain as to what the hell just happened.
My blood is humming with anticipation as I stretch, readying for my first official race at my first swim meet of the season. I’ve been getting more and more excited all day long waiting for this, and I haven’t even had room in my mind to think of Saint and his strange reaction to my confession about James this morning. In fact, as I pull my leg back to stretch out my quad, I realize I haven’t seen him all day. He wasn’t in gym today, though I guess he did tell me he’d see me tonight.
I wonder where he is.
“Ellis, you’re up!” Coach Friedricks shouts.
I jump to attention and hurry forward. There’s a decent-sized crowd filling the stands around the pool, and I quickly scan it to find my friends. Loni and Henry are in the front row, and they wave at me excitedly when we make eye contact. I let my eyes wander some more, and I find Gabe and Liam sitting near the top of the bleachers, but Saint’s not with them. I frown, momentarily distracted as I search for him. The other swimmers are starting to move toward the blocks, and I know I need to follow them, but I just need to see him…
There! I spot him standing at the end of the bleachers near the door. Our eyes meet and his nostrils flare as he gives me a solemn nod. I bite my lip to hide my smile and excitement that he’s here, not even caring that his odd expression doesn’t change. I shouldn’t care this much, I know that. It’s not exactly healthy, what we have, I know that too, but in this moment, I can’t make myself care about any of that.
He’s here. He’s putting in effort. He’s showing me that I’m not just a steady fuck.
I’m something more.
With that thought making me giddy, I hurrying to my starting block and force my focus on