their relationship, a hopeful permanence of sorts. For now, it was enough to kiss her, to feel her arms wrapped around him. He loved the scent of jasmine shampoo in her hair and the way her hand nestled so perfectly in his; the way their every touch was charged with delicious anticipation, as if they were somehow saving themselves for each other. He hadn’t slept with anyone since his wife had died, and now he felt that in some way he had unknowingly been waiting for Katie.
He took pleasure in showing her around the area. They walked the waterfront and past the historic homes, examining the architecture, and one weekend he took her to the Orton Plantation Gardens, where they wandered among a thousand blooming rosebushes. Afterward, they went to lunch at a small oceanfront bistro at Caswell Beach, where they held hands across the table like teenagers.
Since their dinner at her house, she hadn’t broached her past again, and he didn’t bring it up. He knew she was still working things out in her mind: how much she’d told him already and how much there still was to tell, whether or not she could trust him, how much it mattered that she was still married, and what would happen if Kevin somehow found her here. When he sensed she was brooding over such things, he would remind her gently that no matter what happened, her secret would always be safe with him. He would never tell anyone.
Watching her, he would sometimes be overcome with an overwhelming rage at Kevin Tierney. Such men’s instincts to victimize and torture were as foreign to him as the ability to breathe underwater or fly; more than anything, he wanted revenge. He wanted justice. He wanted Kevin to experience Katie’s anguish and terror, the unending bouts of brutal physical pain. During his time in the army, he’d killed one man, a soldier strung out on methamphetamines who was threatening a hostage with a gun. The man was dangerous and out of control and when the opportunity arose, Alex had pulled the trigger without hesitation. The death had given his job a sobering new meaning, but in his heart he knew that there were moments in life when violence was necessary to save lives. He knew that if Kevin ever showed up, Alex would protect Katie, no matter what. In the army, he’d slowly come to the realization that there were people who added goodness to the world and people who lived to destroy it. In his mind, the decision to protect an innocent woman like Katie from a psychopath like Kevin was as clear as black and white—a simple choice.
On most days, the specter of Katie’s past life didn’t intrude, and they spent each day together in a state of relaxed and growing intimacy. The afternoons with the kids were particularly special for him. Katie was a natural with children—whether helping Kristen feed the ducks at the pond or playing catch with Josh, she always seemed to fall effortlessly into rhythm with them, by turns playful, comforting, rowdy, or quiet. In this way she was much like Carly, and he somehow felt certain that Katie was the kind of woman Carly had once spoken about.
In the final weeks of Carly’s life, he had maintained a vigil beside her bed. Even though she slept most of the time, he was afraid of missing those times when she was conscious, no matter how short they might be. By then, the left side of her body was almost paralyzed, and speech was difficult for her. But one night, during a brief lucid period in the hour just before dawn, she’d reached for him.
“I want you to do something for me,” she said with effort, licking her cracked lips. Her voice was hoarse from disuse.
“Anything.”
“I want you to be… happy.” At this, he saw the ghost of her old smile, the confident, self-possessed smile that had captivated him at their first meeting.
“I am happy.”
She gave a faint shake of her head. “I’m talking about the future.” Her eyes gleamed with the intensity of hot coals in her sunken face. “We both know what I’m talking about.”
“I don’t.”
She ignored his response. “Marrying you… being with you every day and having children with you… it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. You’re the best man I’ve ever known.”
His throat closed up. “Me, too,” he said. “I feel the same way.”
“I know,” she said. “And that’s why this is so hard