had happened, she realized that she was attracted to him.
Beyond that, her feelings were complicated. Not since Atlantic City had she lowered her guard enough to let someone else get so close, and that ended up being a nightmare. But as hard as she’d tried to remain aloof, it seemed that every time she saw Alex, something happened to draw them together. Sometimes by accident, like when Josh fell in the river and she’d stayed with Kristen, but sometimes it seemed almost preordained. Like the storm rolling in. Or Kristen wandering out and pleading with her to come to the beach. To this point, she’d had enough sense to volunteer little about herself, but that was the thing. The more time she spent with Alex, the more she had the sense that he knew far more than he was letting on, and it frightened her. It made her feel naked and vulnerable and it was part of the reason she’d avoided going to the store at all this week. She needed time to think, time to decide what, if anything, she was going to do about it.
Unfortunately, she’d spent too much time dwelling on the way the fine lines at the corners of his eyes crinkled when he grinned or the graceful way he’d emerged from the surf. She thought about how Kristen would reach for his hand and the absolute trust Katie saw in that simple gesture. Early on, Jo had said something along the lines that Alex was a good man, the kind of man who would do the right thing, and though Katie couldn’t claim to know him well, her instincts told her he was a man she could trust. That no matter what she told him, he would support her. That he would guard her secrets and never use what he knew to hurt her.
It was irrational and illogical and it went against everything she’d promised herself when she’d moved here, but she realized that she wanted him to know her. She wanted him to understand her, if only because she had the strange sense that he was the kind of man she could fall in love with, even if she didn’t want to.
14
Butterfly hunting.
The notion had popped into his head soon after waking on Saturday morning, even before he’d gone downstairs to open the store. Strangely, as he’d been pondering the possibilities of what to do with the kids that day, he’d remembered a project he’d done in the sixth grade. The teacher had asked the students to make an insect collection. He flashed to a memory of running through a grassy field at recess, chasing after everything from bumblebees to katydids. He was certain that Josh and Kristen would enjoy it, and feeling proud of himself for coming up with something exciting and original to occupy a weekend afternoon, he sifted through the fishing nets he had in the store, choosing three that were about the right size.
When he told them at lunch, Josh and Kristen were less than enthusiastic about the idea.
“I don’t want to hurt any butterflies,” Kristen protested. “I like butterflies.”
“We don’t have to hurt them. We can let them go.”
“Then why catch them in the first place?”
“Because it’s fun.”
“It doesn’t sound fun. It sounds mean.”
Alex opened his mouth to respond, but he wasn’t sure what to say. Josh took another bite of his grilled cheese sandwich.
“It’s pretty hot already, Dad,” Josh pointed out, talking as he chewed.
“That’s okay. Afterward, we can swim in the creek. And chew with your mouth closed.”
Josh swallowed. “Why don’t we just swim in the creek now?”
“Because we’re going butterfly hunting.”
“Can we go to a movie instead?”
“Yeah!” Kristen said. “Let’s go to a movie.”
Parenting, Alex thought, could be exasperating.
“It’s a beautiful day and we’re not going to spend it sitting inside. We’re going butterfly hunting. And not only that, you’re going to enjoy it, okay?”
After lunch, Alex drove them to a field on the outskirts of town that was filled with wildflowers. He handed them their nets and sent them on their way, watching as Josh sort of dragged his net while Kristen held hers tucked against her, in much the same way she held her dolls.
Alex took matters into his own hands and jogged ahead of both of them, his net at the ready. Up ahead, fluttering among the wildflowers, he spotted dozens of butterflies. When he got close enough, he swung his net, capturing one. Squatting down, he carefully began to shift the net,