he was trying to turn around, and then, cursing, tore out on the gravel, spinning rocks.
Night would soon be falling. She came in this direction, had to be down this way. Little kids couldn’t ride far. Three or four miles, maybe five. He’d been down every road this way, looked at every house. No bicycles. They could be in the garage, could be parked in fenced yards. He’d wait and she’d come home sometime. Tonight. Tomorrow. Tomorrow night. He’d stick the gun in her mouth, aim it at her breasts. Tell me who he is, he’d say. I just want to talk to him. He’d find gray-hair and show him what happened to men who slept with other men’s wives.
He felt like he had been weeks without sleep, weeks without food. He couldn’t understand why it was dark and he wondered when that happened. Couldn’t remember when he got here exactly. He remembered seeing Erin, remembered trying to follow her and driving, but wasn’t even sure where he was.
A store loomed on the right, looking like a house with a porch out front. GAS FOOD, the sign said. He remembered that from earlier, but how long ago he couldn’t say. He slowed the car involuntarily. He needed food, needed to sleep. Had to find a place to stay the night. His stomach lurched. He grabbed the bottle and tilted the bottom up, feeling the burn in his throat, soothing him. But as soon as he lowered the bottle, his stomach heaved again.
He pulled into the lot, fighting to keep the liquor down, his mouth watering. Running out of time. He skidded to a stop alongside the store and jumped out. Ran to the front of his car and heaved into the darkness. His body shivered, his legs wobbled. His stomach coming up. His liver. All of it. Somehow, he was still holding the bottle, hadn’t put it down. He breathed hard in and out and drank, using it to rinse his mouth, swallowing it. Finishing another bottle.
And there, like an image from a dream, in the darkened shadows behind the house, he saw four bicycles parked side by side.
39
Katie had the kids take a bath before getting them into their pajamas. Afterward, she showered, lingering under the spray and enjoying the luxurious feeling of shampoo and soap rinsing the salt from her body after a day in the sun.
She made the kids their pasta, and after dinner they sorted through the collection of DVDs, trying to find one that both kids wanted to watch, until they finally agreed on Finding Nemo. She sat between Josh and Kristen on the couch, a bowl of popcorn in her lap, their little hands reaching in automatically from either direction. She wore a comfy pair of sweats that Alex had laid out and a worn Carolina Panthers jersey, tucking her legs up under her as they watched the movie, utterly at ease for the first time that day.
Outside, the heavens bloomed like fireworks, displaying vibrant rainbow colors that faded to pastel washes before finally giving way to bluish-gray and then indigo skies. Stars began to flicker as the last shimmering waves of heat rose from the earth.
Kristen had begun to yawn as the movie progressed, but every time Dory appeared on-screen, she managed to chirp, “She’s my favorite, but I can’t remember why!” On the other side of her, Josh was struggling to stay awake.
When the movie ended and Katie leaned forward to turn it off, Josh raised his head and let it fall to the couch. He was too big for her to carry, so she nudged his shoulder, telling him it was time for bed. He grunted and whined before sitting up. He yawned and rose to his feet and, with Katie by his side, staggered to the bedroom. He crawled into bed without complaint and she kissed him good night. Unsure whether he needed a night-light, she kept the light in the hallway on but closed the door partway.
Kristen was next. She asked Katie to lie beside her for a few minutes, and Katie did, staring at the ceiling, feeling the heat of the day beginning to take its toll. Kristen fell asleep within minutes, and Katie had to force herself to stay awake before tiptoeing out of the room.
Afterward, she cleaned up the remnants of their dinner and emptied the bowl of popcorn. As she glanced around the living room, she noticed evidence of the kids everywhere: a stack of