Alex drained his glass before putting it in the sink. He leaned forward and kissed her, then headed toward the bedroom.
Once he was gone, Katie turned toward the kitchen window. She watched the road outside, feeling a nameless anxiety come over her. She’d felt the same way earlier in the morning and assumed it was an aftershock of the argument she’d had with Alex, but now she found herself thinking of the Feldmans again. And about Kevin.
She’d thought of him when she was on the Ferris wheel. As she’d scanned the crowd, she knew she hadn’t been searching for people from the restaurant. Not really. She’d been looking for Kevin. Believing for some inexplicable reason that he might be in the crowd. Thinking he was there.
But that was just her paranoia surfacing again. There was no way he could know where she was, no way to know her identity. It was impossible, she reminded herself. He never would have connected her to the Feldmans’ daughter; he never even spoke to them. But why, then, had she felt all day like someone was following her, even as they left the carnival?
She wasn’t psychic and didn’t believe in such things. But she did believe in the power of the subconscious mind to put together pieces that the conscious mind might miss. Standing in Alex’s kitchen, however, the pieces were still scrambled, without shape or order of any kind, and after watching a dozen cars pass by on the road out front, she finally turned away. It was probably just her old fears raising their ugly head again.
She shook her head and thought of Alex in the shower. The thought of joining him made her flush hot with anticipation. And yet… it wasn’t quite that simple, even if the kids hadn’t been around. Even if Alex thought of her as Katie, Erin was still married to Kevin. She wished that she were another woman, a woman who could simply move into her lover’s arms without hesitation. After all, it was Kevin who had broken all the rules of marriage when he first raised his fists against her. When God looked into her heart, she was pretty sure that He would agree that what she was doing wasn’t a sin. Wouldn’t He?
She sighed. Alex… he was all she could think about. Later was all she could think about. He loved her and wanted her and she wanted, more than anything, to show him that she felt the same way. She wanted to feel his body against hers, wanted all of him for as long as he wanted her. Forever.
Katie forced herself to stop picturing herself with Alex, to stop dreaming about what was to come. She shook her head to clear it and went to the living room, where she took a seat on the couch next to Josh. They were watching a Disney Channel television show she didn’t recognize. After a while she looked up at the clock, and noticed that only ten minutes had gone by. It felt like an hour.
Once he finished with his shower, Alex made a sandwich and sat beside her on the couch as he ate. He smelled clean and his hair was still wet at the ends, clinging to his skin in a way that made her want to trace the line of dampness with her lips. The kids, glued to the screen, ignored them, even after he put the plate on the end table and began to run his finger slowly up and down her thigh.
“You look beautiful,” he whispered into her ear.
“I look terrible,” she countered, trying to ignore the line of fire burning its way up her thigh. “I haven’t showered yet.”
When it was time for him to leave, he kissed the kids in the living room. She followed him to the door and when he kissed her good-bye, he let his hand wander lower, past her waist, his lips soft against hers. Obviously in love with her, obviously wanting her, making sure she knew it. He was driving her crazy, and he seemed to be enjoying it.
“See you in a bit,” he said, pulling back.
“Drive safely,” she whispered. “The kids will be fine.”
When she heard his footsteps descending the steps outside, she leaned against the door for a long, slow breath. Good Lord, she thought. Good Lord. Vows or not, guilt or not, she decided that even if he wasn’t in the mood, she definitely was.