The Saddest Song - By Susie Kaye Lopez Page 0,1
my beagle?” I asked, shocked.
“Well, you loved her, right?”
“Yeah, and I STILL miss her Cait, and it’s been three years.”
“Of course you do, but now you have Lola and you love her too.” I nodded, trying to see where this was going. Lola was the cat we had rescued, and I adored her but… she couldn’t mean what I think she did.
“You don’t expect me to replace Garrett, do you?” My voice had an edge to it that warned Caitlynn to tread lightly.
“No! Of course I didn’t mean you could replace him! I was just…I mean…I was trying to say it will get better. I mean…easier.” I felt guilty as she struggled to find the right words. She loved Garrett too, and while I had lost my love, she had lost a close friend. Despite knowing better, I could feel my patience wearing thin.
“I’m sorry, I’m not good company right now Cait.”
“It’s okay,” she whispered, and we lay looking at my ceiling for what felt like forever until my dad popped his head in the door.
“Hey Lamb, how ya doin?” He asked in his concerned, devastated-he-couldn’t-make-it-better voice. Lamb had been his nickname for me since the day I was born. Not because I reminded him of one, but because my initials were L. A. M. My parents had a deal. Mom would name the girls and dad would name the boys. Except for that there was only ever me, Lorraine Alison Martin. I was named after my mom’s grandma Lorraine, which was shortened by a prearranged agreement to Rainey. Then Dad had bestowed on me the extra nickname of Lamb.
I stared at him for a few moments then answered honestly, “Horrendous.”
“Wish I could help… I miss him too.” He stood there waiting for a reply, so I nodded and he gave me a sad smile and left.
“Everyone loved him Rainey,” Caitlynn whispered. “We are all grieving with you, does that help at all?”
“Not even a little.”
Max
I had been lying in my brother’s room since the last guest left after his funeral. The words brother and funeral in the same sentence sickened me. The whole ordeal had been obscene. Garrett dead made no sense. My brother, my only sibling, gone forever. It could not possibly be true, but it was.
I should have known. I should have been in tune enough to have felt it when he left this life. Twins are innately connected, more so than any other relationship, but I failed to feel a thing. Even when the doorbell rang at two a.m. shouldn’t that have been a clue? I’d been up, sitting in my room finishing the lyrics to a song I’d been working on. The doorbell rang and all I thought was,” Shit! They’re gonna wake mom and dad!” I ran down the stairs throwing the front door open expecting Matt or Hudson to be coming over to hang out, or maybe stay over. But it wasn’t one of my friends. It was two uniformed police officers asking to speak to the parents of Garrett McKinley.
“Whoa,” I blurted, “What did he do?” I knew that all of the football players were at the river, and I knew a few of them weren’t the brightest bulbs, but what could be bad enough to warrant a home visit from the cops? They repeated their request without answering my question and still all I felt was curiosity as I left them standing in the open doorway while I ran to get my parents.
It was only a week ago, but I was so horrified by the news that I can’t remember much more than seeing my mom and dad struggle to throw on robes, panic clear on their faces. Then the sound of my mom’s scream as the officers told us Garrett had died in a car accident. Hours passed, but they are lost to me somehow. The following morning I drove down to see Garrett’s girlfriend Rainey and tried to break the news to her gently, but as soon as she saw me, my swollen eyes and my shell shocked expression, she knew. Her dad had come to stand beside her at the door and asked me in. I must have looked really bad, because he told me to sit down and Rainey was already crying.
“What is it, Max? What’s happened?” Mr. Martin asked, alarmed.
“There was a car accident. Garrett, he’s…” I was cut off by Rainey.
“No! He’s okay. Max, please…he’s going to be okay, right?”
I shook my head and the