Ryan's Love - C.A. Harms Page 0,43

her. It was a week of many tears, but in the end, I think Olivia needed to feel her mother’s presence. She also needed to see just how much of her mother still lived on in herself. Every day I was able to see Claire more and more in Olivia. I wanted her to realize it was okay to talk freely about Claire and to share our memories and love for her. But we had to learn to move forward for our sakes.

In the meantime, I missed Amber more than I had imagined I would. The impact she made on my heart in such a short time was something I could not easily forget. I found myself driving by the bakery just to feel close to her. I had refrained from going inside, though, even if it meant I had to drink the shit coffee from JJ’s. I just knew seeing her would be too hard. My heart ached from not being able to touch her.

We had shared one very amazing night just to have everything fall apart hours later.

Nights were the worst. Things were quiet then, and my mind wandered back to the feelings I had developed for her. They were too hard to ignore. At least during the day spending time with Olivia on the ranch kept my mind occupied and at ease.

I looked up from the television to see Liv shuffling down the hall toward me. “Do you wanna go riding today?” she asked as she sat down on the couch next to me and leaned into my side.

Her wrist was now encased in a bright pink cast her uncles had decorated up obnoxiously. I think Jackson and Noah were trying to outdo each other. Their names covered every inch of the cast in various colors and sizes. In the middle of all their madness I signed it too with the word daddy in black, bold letters followed by a heart.

“How do you plan on riding with that?” I tapped the cast lightly, and she tapped me back faster than I had expected.

“Uncle Jackson said Midnight is my best option. He’s tame and the most responsive to the reins. So I’ll be fine.” She smiled brightly because she had already thought everything out. The pure joy written all over her face from the possibility of a day riding the trails melted any possible chance of me being able to tell her no.

“Sure.” I nodded as I stood up and began walking down the hall toward my room. “Give me ten minutes to get ready.”

“Hey, Dad,” Olivia hollered after me.

I turned back around to face her. “Yeah?”

“I was just wondering.” She frowned. I waited patiently as she weighed it out in her mind. “I haven’t really heard you say anything about Amber in the last couple weeks. And you haven’t gone out with her either, so I was just wondering why?”

I tried to appear unaffected by her words. Amber’s name made me flinch, but I hoped Olivia was too far away to notice. “Things just didn’t work out.”

I started to turn around, but her voice stopped me once again. “What do ya mean, it didn’t work out?”

I rubbed at the stubble that had become more of a beard over the last couple weeks. I had no reason to keep it trimmed because I sure as hell wasn’t trying to attract any attention. “I’m where I need to be, with you. It was for the best.”

She looked like she was going to say something more, but I cut in again. “Now get ready. This train is leaving in five-point-two minutes, and if you aren’t aboard, you’ll have to hitch a ride.” I chuckled as she arched an eyebrow at me, and I left her to ponder just how long two tenths of a minute was while I ran off to get dressed for a day on horseback.

***

My brother and I settled on the porch of my parents’ home for a beer. “So, uh.” Noah cleared his throat and looked back over his shoulder. Once he saw we were, in fact, alone, he continued. “Have you heard from her at all?”

“Heard from who?” I knew exactly who he was talking about.

“Don’t give me that shit. You know damn well who I’m referring to.” He stared at me sternly.

“Yeah well, it should be obvious enough that I don’t feel much like having that conversation.”

My ass of a brother was a pusher; he didn’t back down easily, and he pushed until he