Ryan's Love - C.A. Harms Page 0,1

and a fever. She panicked and rushed to call 9-1-1.

The drive to the hospital is still a total blur; I was steered by pure adrenaline and fear. By the time I arrived in the emergency room, everything was spiraling out of my control. I found Olivia seated next to my parents and in-laws as the doctors told us what was happening to Claire.

Her bowel was nicked during surgery, and she was sent home without it being detected. Claire brushed off all the signs that something was wrong, believing the pain would soon go away. But when it had reached the point of agonizing, it was too late to do anything. Her organs were beginning to shut down.

As we sat in the waiting area, I felt as if my heart was breaking. I heard everyone talking around me, but my numb mind couldn’t take in a word. My entire world was behind those big double doors with the woman I chose to spend my life with. She was everything to me, and I couldn’t help her. I would have given anything to take her place.

The moment the doors swung open to reveal the ashen faces of the doctor and the small nurse at his side, my heart crumbled. My life shattered when he began to speak.

“I am so sorry, we did all we could.” The doctor hung his head, the loss clearly affecting him intensely. “I wish I could have saved her. I’m am truly, truly sorry for your loss.”

Claire was taken from us that day, and a huge part of me died with her. She was the biggest part of me, and I had no idea how I would go on without her.

Chapter One

Ryan

Three years later…

“Dad, come on, we’re gonna be late,” Olivia hollered from the kitchen. I could hear her slamming cabinet doors and shuffling around. Our mornings were always hectic, and most days it was still harder than hell to climb out of bed. I still felt lost without Claire, but I kept going for Liv’s sake. She was my reason to accept what life had thrown at me and move forward.

“I’m coming, Liv. I can’t find my truck keys,” I grunted as I hopped down the hall while pulling my boot on. I had spent the last twenty minutes in search of my keys only to come up empty-handed. Claire used to always play the same damn tricks on me, always hiding things from me and then sitting back to watch me search for them. She used to love that I relied on her to keep me organized. She was a saint.

“Mom used to say you would lose your ass if it wasn’t attached to your body.”

I looked up and cocked an eyebrow at my now-teenage daughter. “Liv,” I said in warning.

She shrugged and leaned against the doorframe. “What? Mom used to say it. I’m just reminding you that you are very forgetful. Oh, and completely disorganized too.”

I narrowed my eyes at her.

“I’ll stop now, but you know it’s true. You are thirty-three years old and have no sense of organization.”

All I could manage to do was shake my head and smile. Damn kid was her momma’s clone. She looked just like her, talked just like her, and hell if she didn’t have the same fire inside of her. She was feisty, and my baby girl kept me in line daily, just like Claire had always done.

A flash of yellow to my left caught my eye, and my shoulders sagged. There on the coffee table next to the couch sat my keys with the yellow star keychain Claire added to my key ring because she thought it would help them stand out more. I picked them up and twisted them around my finger. Olivia giggled and covered her mouth.

“If they were a snake they would have bit ya,” she told me. She cocked her head to the side and grinned as I nudged her toward the open front door. “Okay, smartass, let’s get moving.”

I pulled up in front of the high school, and Olivia jumped out of the cab of my truck and threw her bag over her shoulder.

“Bye, Daddy, have a good day.” She smiled her momma’s smile, and my chest ached at the likeness.

“You too, baby girl. I’ll see ya tonight.”

I waved as I watched her walk away and disappear into the building. If she had gotten her momma’s golden-blond hair instead of my darker color, she would be Claire’s twin. It was hard to