Ruthless Savior - Julia Sykes Page 0,79

and I was greedy for her to fill my mind with her soft reassurances. I welcomed her sweet truths to sink into my soul, taking root amongst my darkest beliefs about myself.

Her fingertips brushed away the furrows in my brow. “If you truly don’t want children, then we will still build a life together that makes us both happy. We’ll be a family, Raúl. This is a decision we can only make together, and we can take as much time as we need to sort through our feelings. My anguish over the lost dream of the family I’d always envisioned momentarily blinded me to your pain. If I’d known how your mother treated you, if I’d known that you believe evil is encoded in your genes…”

Another glittering tear rolled down her golden cheek, as brilliant and precious as a diamond. “I understand why you’re afraid to be a father. But you have to believe me when I tell you that you’re not evil. There is no darkness in your blood that would be passed on to your children.

“You have so much goodness in you. I see it every single day. Yes, you do bad things with the cartel.” She brushed away my weak rebuttal before it could fully form on my tongue. “That doesn’t make you inherently evil. Humans are more complicated than that. You are human, Raúl. You’re not a monster.”

Her fingers continued to caress my face in feather-light touches, soothing the furious tension from each of my features with reverent care. “You’ve done bad things to obtain the money and power that’ve ensured your survival and security. But everything you do—all the values and hobbies and quirks that make you you—is ultimately about being a good provider.

“Maybe you didn’t have anyone to provide for before you met me, because you wouldn’t let them close enough. But if anything is the deepest truth of your soul, it’s that. Not your crimes, not your ruthlessness. Your deep need to nurture and protect is the core of who you really are.”

Keeping one dainty hand on my cheek, she placed her other directly over my heart. “I love you, Raúl. I choose you. Please, never think that any part of what we share is evil. I won’t accept that, just like you wouldn’t accept my fear when you first took me in. Every single day, you proved to me through your actions that I will never need to be afraid ever again. I believe you now, and I will never doubt it.”

Her fingers sank into my chest, as though she was determined for me to feel her hold over my heart. “I will do the same for you, because you’ve earned my love. It might take time, but I will never stop showing you who you really are. I will never stop seeing the goodness in you. One day, you’ll see it too. You’ll believe that I love you just as you are.”

I’d never been good with words, but the absolute, undeniable truth left my soul with the weight of an oath. “I love you, Marisol.”

My heart pumped beneath her small hand, the strong, steady throb almost painful in its intensity. I craved to believe every solemn promise that issued from her perfect lips. I wasn’t sure if I dared to believe them. They seemed impossible, unreal.

But my love for her was real. It was the realest thing in my world, the most perfect peace I’d ever known.

“I love you.” I marveled at the pure elation that soared through my chest, lifting the darkness away as though it weighed nothing. I caught one of her diamond tears on my thumb, tracing the ethereal, breathtaking contours of her face with the same reverence she’d shown me.

Her hand lifted from my heart, but before I could feel a twinge at the loss, her touch moved to the watch around my wrist. A low grunt of protest caught in my throat when her dainty fingers began working the buckle free, but her lovely eyes soothed me to silence.

“You don’t need to carry this with you anymore.” It was a soft command, and I knew I’d never feel the shackle of my past around my wrist ever again. She wouldn’t let me.

As soon as the cruel badge of my darkest impulses dropped away, she surged toward me and pressed her lips to mine. I pulled her into my arms, groaning into her mouth. She consumed the sound of my anguish releasing, extracting the pain from my