sense of honor, that was long gone. Ending up like her mother might be a step up in the world.
If it were simply a matter of reputation that had been destroyed long ago, and she was worrying for naught. That particular concern had vanished years past due to any number of occurrences, including the fact Lydia’s mother was a whore and her sister…
She looked out the window into the swirling snow and shivered. Somewhere a church bell tolled eight, and she breathed a sigh of relief. It was early. Late for a social call, but early enough for her to make her objections clear, insist that Lord Rohan remove what could be taken from the house and desist from bothering them again. Her sister wasn’t for sale.
There was a fire blazing in the hearth, filling the room with almost oppressive heat. She should have agreed to the offer of tea—she was so tired she could barely keep her eyes open, and she wasn’t, she absolutely wasn’t going to fall asleep in his presence again. She wasn’t in any particular danger from him, despite his banter, but she might not always be able to count on that, and if Rohan was in the mood to humiliate her she’d be fair game.
No, she needed to stay wide-awake, and she stood up, walking back and forth in the room, her long, heavy skirts swinging back and forth. What was keeping Lord Rohan? Surely it didn’t take that long to put on a shirt and breeches? Lord help her, he wasn’t getting dressed in his full glory just to receive her thorough dressing-down?
Her inadvertent play on words amused her for a moment, and she sat back down, leaning against the striped silk of the cushioned seat, closing her eyes, just for a moment. She’d hear him coming, particularly if he wore those ridiculous high-heeled slippers he’d worn when he’d accompanied her back to town this morning. She hadn’t been looking at his shoes, she hadn’t been looking at anything if she could help it, as remembered shame and something else swept over her. Had it only been that morning? It seemed like a week ago—a month since she’d raced off in a stolen coach to find her missing mother. It seemed like forever since she’d first set eyes on the Prince of Darkness himself.
She rose and paced back across the room again. What was taking him so long? He’d be ready for a full-court presentation at this rate. She sat down again, then popped up, restless. There was no telling what he might or might not be wearing if she were to go and bang on the door, and in her short acquaintance with him she knew he’d delight in further embarrassing her.
It had already been shocking enough. Not that she hadn’t seen a number of totally naked bodies in any number of acts of depravity the night before. She prided herself on her pragmatism, and some of those things she’d glimpsed still astounded her, but a naked human body was simply that. She of all people shouldn’t be fragile about such things. But for some reason, what was easily dismissed in his motley crew of decadent guests was a little more difficult to deal with when it came to Rohan himself. In particular, nudity.
He had hair on his chest. Not a great deal—a mere dusting. Dark mixed with gray, which surprised her. She was aware of the oddest desire to touch it. He certainly had the body, the musculature of a young man, and…
And why in Christ’s name was she sitting here thinking about his musculature? Perhaps because it was so very different from the only other body she’d seen so intimately. Though thank God she hadn’t really seen it.
And she certainly wasn’t going to be thinking about that either. Granted, it was enough to keep her awake, but some things had too high a price to be paid.
She brought the memory back forcefully, the good one. The one she used when things became unbearable. The wide stretches of fields at her father’s estate in Dorset, the feel of the young mare beneath her as she raced along, the sun bright overhead, her hair in plaits streaming out behind her as she sped ahead of the groom. She had been twelve, just days before her mother had packed her and her sister up and taken her to the continent. The last time she’d been on a horse. All she had to do was