She took off the shoes and set them to one side, then looked up at him. He was unbuttoning his shirt, and she knew this was going to happen, nothing would stop it. And she knew he’d spoken the truth. She wanted him, in ways she hadn’t realized she was capable of feeling.
She started to rise, and he caught her, keeping her down. “Where do you think you’re going?”
“I was going to lie on the bed,” she said. “You needn’t worry, I won’t fight you. I promise I won’t move and disturb you while you do it. It would help if you had laudanum—I was lucky enough that one of Sir Christopher’s housemaids gave me some the nights he chose to visit. But I’ll try hard to lie very still and not make a sound.” She even managed a shaky smile.
He froze. He’d pulled his shirt free from his small clothes, and he paused in the act of unbuttoning it, staring down at her in disbelief. And then he closed his eyes. “Oh, poppet,” he said, and put one hand to the side of her face, and she let out a choked sob of relief, turning her face into his hand.
“I’m so sorry,” she said in a raw voice. “If it were only about me I never would have tried to leave, but I’m responsible for Lydia. I have to take care of her, and I couldn’t be sure…I can take risks for myself. Not for her. Please, my lord…”
“Don’t,” he said. “I’ve hurt you.” His voice was filled with self-loathing. He rose, pulling her with him, and clothes fell about her feet, leaving her covered with only the light chemise. And then he stepped away from her. “Cover yourself. You’ll get cold. I’ll call your maid.”
She stared at him in disbelief. “Why?”
“Why? Do you need to ask? I was about to take out all my anger and pain on you. I hurt you, I know I did, and I didn’t care. You’re just fortunate I came to my senses. There are blankets on the bed. Go get under the covers until someone comes.”
“No.”
He was in the midst of turning away when her flat, simple word stopped him. “No?” he repeated.
“Not unless you get on the bed with me.”
“Child, I’m not in the mood to provide comfort,” he said shortly.
“I’m not a child. And I don’t want comfort.” She wanted to move closer, but the mound of clothing lay between them. “If I have to do…that…again, then I want to do it with you.”
She was starting to see traces of the old Rohan, as he smothered a laugh. “As flattering a confession as that is, I believe you’d be better off if I forgo the honor. Get in bed,” he said, and moved away from her toward the door, leaving her trapped in the welter of discarded clothing. “There are no servants allowed in this hallway, so it will take me a moment to find someone to assist you. I’ll leave you the candles.” And before she could stop him he went out the door, closing it quietly behind him.
She stood there, frozen in disbelief. And then she kicked the clothes out of her way and went to sit in the middle of the bed. She counted to ten, and then began to scream at the top of her lungs.
22
It was only a few moments later that Rohan slammed open the door, looking as if he was ready to battle demons. Only his own needed defeating. “Are you all right? What’s happened?”
Elinor’s voice was raw from screaming, and she cleared her throat. “Rats,” she said.
“Rats?”
“I saw a huge rat in the corner. The size of a hedgehog, and he was staring at me out of his evil little eyes, and if I hadn’t started screaming he would have…”
Rohan had closed the door behind him by then, moving slowly toward the bed. “And you’re terrified of rats,” he said in a voice devoid of inflection.
“Absolutely terrified. There’s nothing worse than rats. Nothing. And this room is infested with them. They’re everywhere. I need you to rescue me.”
She saw the smile curve his mouth, slow, reluctant. “Do you know what you’re telling me, poppet?”
“Yes, my love… Come have your wicked way with me.” And she lay back, closing her eyes, bracing herself.
She felt the smoothness of the covers against her body as he slid in next to her. His hand on her face made her