The Rush (The Siren Series) - By Rachel Higginson Page 0,90

from smacking his arm.

Granted I wouldn’t have done much damage.

“Fine, we weren’t really going out. That doesn’t mean rub it in the guy’s face,” I huffed.

“Why is that?” Suddenly Ryder was staring at me. His gray eyes piercing through the darkness, pinning me to my seat. The car was stalled at a stoplight so he just sat there, staring at me, waiting for me to answer. “Chase has known you not even two weeks and as far as I know you guys never….”

“We didn’t,” I rushed to explain away the doubt in his voice. At least sex would explain somewhat of an attachment to me. There wasn’t enough air in the car, not even to breathe. I reached for the hand-roll to crank the window down but stopped myself before I could follow the impulse through.

“Then why the devastation? Why the despair? Couldn’t you have walked away friends? What did you say to the guy to break his heart?” The light turned green, but Ryder just kept staring at me.

“It’s green,” I whispered.

“I know,” he snapped back and pushed his foot down on the accelerator too hard. The Bronco lurched and groaned but hardly picked up any real speed. “Seriously Ivy, what did you say to Chase to crush him so badly?”

I took three long breaths, trying to find my equilibrium. I’d never had to answer these questions before. Usually, if I stayed in the same dating circle, whoever I moved onto next was just grateful I chose them. Yes, it was sick and destroyed friendships. But I didn’t have a choice. It was what I did.

What I would do if I didn’t get out of here.

Ryder demanding answers for my behavior wasn’t fair. It wasn’t. He had no idea the kind of pressure I was under. Or what my mother expected of me.

My own mother.

I scratched at my wrist tattoo that was back to being carefully covered up. It was burning like the tattletale it wanted to be.

“I didn’t say anything!” I all but shouted. “You don’t know anything about us, Ryder, so you have no right to say those things!”

“You must have said something though,” Ryder pushed, not caring at all that I was upset. “You broke his heart! After two weeks, you managed to break his heart!” His hand rammed through his hair, and his jaw ticked with frustration.

There it was. The words that had been spoken so many times in conjunction with me. The words that haunted me. Chased me in my sleep. That never gave me a moment’s peace. I broke his heart. After one freaking week, he was broken.

Just like everyone else before him.

Just like Sam.

Just like me.

“You know who I am, Ryder. It’s not like it’s this great big secret!” My voice was reaching a screeching pitch now, I was all but hysterical. “You’ve seen the tattoo. You’ve heard all the rumors. Don’t act so surprised just because it plays out in front of you. Let’s not forget, you’re the one that begged me to break up with him.”

Ryder pulled the Bronco over to the side of the road, parallel parking with disgusting ease. He didn’t even have to try more than once. He just pulled right into the tight spot and turned the car off.

Abruptly the air became silent between us. There was no loud groan of the engine, no traffic whirring by alongside us. There was only us, in the quiet of the front seat, bathed in the light of the streetlamp overhead.

“Ivy,” Ryder started, but his voice was low and careful.

“Don’t Ryder. Believe me, there is nothing you can say that can make me feel worse. I didn’t want to hurt Chase, Ok? I like Chase. I think he’s great. Just because it was never going to work between us, didn’t mean I wanted to hurt him.” I stared out the window desperate to avoid Ryder’s intelligent eyes or scornful expression. He parked in a long line of cars parallel with the Gene Leahy Outdoor Mall to my right. The trees drooped in autumn death in a perfect line spaced exactly apart from each other. The hills and hills of grass that broke up the downtown industrial-ness in a five city-block long park were brown with the injury of frost filled nights and barren of the people that usually occupied them during the spring and summer months.

“And there was no way to be more…. gentle with him? I get that you have your hang-ups but Ivy, really, there had to