The Rush (The Siren Series) - By Rachel Higginson Page 0,69

girls, I couldn’t take anybody with me and there was nothing on earth that could persuade me to stay.

“Thanks,” I mumbled to Kenna who waved me off like it was no big deal.

“Don’t worry. She is a bitch. It’s not like she doesn’t know it. She’s just not used to being told the truth,” Kenna laughed and then turned to primp and preen in the mirror.

I smiled in response but didn’t offer anything else. Suddenly and very inexplicably I felt bad for Amber. Which sucked since she made me feel like the worst kind of awful…. but still. I didn’t deserve this kind of attention from Kenna and their friendship didn’t deserve me getting in the middle of it. At the end of all this I was gone, out of here. There was nothing long term between any of us, and besides Amber couldn’t even really be blamed. She hated me for good reason. Especially if she had a thing for Chase….

I sucked in a deep breath and snuck another peek at Kenna.

I couldn’t identify anything going on between Ryder and me, but either way I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Kenna should not be defending me. She should be defending her relationship. I promised myself at least four times a day that I wanted nothing to do with Ryder, but the guilt seeping into my bloodstream and pumping through my heart with crackling clarity begged to differ.

“Are you going back to class?” Kenna asked me while her other two friends waited for her by the door.

“In a minute,” I whispered, still trying to put the broken pieces of myself back together.

“No worries,” she grinned a carefree smile and then met her friends at the door. “See you later, Ivy.”

“Yep,” I croaked and went back to gripping the sink. I looked up and met my watery green eyes in the mirror. I looked over my silky auburn hair, the reddish gold highlights were really coming out now that my hair had a chance to heal from the poor dye jobs I was obsessed with right before I was sent away. My skin seemed paler than normal but still held that milky-porcelain-perfection all the women in our circle kept. I was beautiful.

But empty.

And I didn’t deserve any of this.

Chapter Nineteen

“Oh lord, I’m so nervous!” Exie squealed as we crossed the street to Delice.

I rolled my eyes. “What do you have to be nervous about?” I demanded over the clicking sound of our heels against the wet pavement. The sky hadn’t stopped spitting since it opened up yesterday morning and the constant drizzle made even my hair frizzy and wild.

“To meet him of course!” she exclaimed dramatically. “I just hope he’s everything I want him to be! Last night was so anticlimactic that if he’s not there tonight I might die. Seriously, I might just die!”

Sloane laughed delicately from the other side of Exie and I threw her a “what the hell” look just for good measure. “He had band practice last night, or that’s what Phoenix told me today. So he should definitely be here tonight. But, honestly, I don’t understand why you’re so worked up about this, Ex? It’s not like I’m ever going to date him or anything. I’m just mildly curious about why he seems so…. impenetrable.”

“Oh honey,” Exie groaned. “I’m not sure there is a man out there that is…. impenetrable. In fact, I’m pretty sure they are all very aware of how…. penetrating they can be.”

Sloane snorted this time, not at all delicately. Even I couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on my face.

“You sound like my mother!” I laughed. “You’re so gross.”

“But accurate,” Exie giggled.

“I just don’t understand the fascination with him,” I paused at the door to Delice, holding my hand firmly on the handle so they couldn’t muscle their way past me.

Sloane let out an exasperated sigh and explained, “Let’s start with the fact that you have never once, not once, been even curious about a boy. But you’re so much more than curious, and don’t even try to deny it. You are protecting him like the fiercest kind of guard dog, which is also completely uncharacteristic. We know he’s hot and that you’re attracted to him. And then throw in the fact that he isn’t the least bit enslaved by the curse, I mean, come on, Ivy, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out why you would be so fascinated by him. But don’t take that the wrong