RUSH (Montgomery Men #1) - C.A. Harms Page 0,58

I stood there like a lost kid.

Because as I looked at the beautiful woman that wanted to give me a night to remember, all I could picture was Kinsley’s face.

Kinsley.

I’d said her name a million times in my head, and still it felt strange.

But that was her name. Kinsley was the woman I’d fallen in love with, yet she was just a lie. Everything about us was all a lie.

Still, I couldn’t bring myself to give in to the temptation before me.

I wanted to. More than anything I wanted to grab her, toss her on the bed, and fuck her seven ways from Sunday. But I just couldn’t do it. All I could do was turn my back to her and tell her to get dressed.

She argued and tried to convince me that she only wanted a weekend of the hottest sex of her life.

When those tactics didn’t work, she got angry. And when she realized nothing was going to change my mind, she left my room without even taking the time to put her dress back on.

I stretched out my arm to the empty space beside me and reassured myself that my memories of last night were accurate. Relief washed over me when I confirmed I was, in fact, alone.

There was no reason I couldn’t have gone through with nailing a gorgeous woman I didn’t know. Fuck, I had done that very thing more times than I could remember.

But I couldn’t make myself do it this time.

I couldn’t stop thinking about her fucking face or the sadness in her eyes when I walked away without a second thought. I had to get it out of my mind. Only I had no fucking idea how I was going to do that.

Now that I’d calmed down a little, I kept thinking I was missing something. Nothing about this made sense. Her feelings for me couldn’t have been just an act. What I felt for her was real too. We were real.

I refused to believe she and I didn’t have the connection I felt every fucking time I looked at her. Every time she touched me.

I thought I was ready to let go. I tried to force that idea into my head over and over. But in reality, she and I weren’t done yet.

Not until she told me why she lied.

I wanted the truth this time.

All of it.

KINSLEY

“I MESSED EVERYTHING UP,” I slurred as my head lolled to the side. “He was amazing and the perfect man in every sense. Yes, he’s pigheaded and set in his ways, but he made me feel like I was the only thing that mattered.”

Lex looked at me without his usually sassy expression.

“I blew it, because I should have just told him everything from the beginning.” I lifted my wineglass to my lips and took a sip. I should have stopped drinking long ago, but I didn’t want this haze to weaken. Sure, being drunk didn’t fully take the pain away, but it made it hurt a little less.

“You were scared.” Lex looked at me with sympathetic eyes. I should have despised that look, only today I embraced it. I curled in closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. I hadn’t had the type of support Lex was showing me in so long. He knew the truth now. And he understood. That was rare.

Hours ago, once I was able to pick myself up off the floor, I called Lex. He rushed over immediately and spent the entire evening with me as I rehashed what had happened between Ashton and I. I shared everything; about my past with Jase from the first time we met to watching him through the back window of the Suburban that whisked me away to safety.

And the moment he cupped my cheek and told me I was one of the strongest people he knew as tears ran down his face, I knew he was a true friend. He wasn’t angry that I’d lied, he was angry that I had handled everything on my own for so long.

Now I only wished I had the opportunity to tell Ashton the truth.

“He’s angry, but give it time.” Lex wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me in closer. “He cares about you, Kinsley.” He chuckled lightly. “Feels weird calling you that,” he confessed.

And it felt weird hearing it. I’d never thought I would again.

We remained in this position for what felt like hours. Even though I didn’t cry hard, tears slowly