was all about. Ashamed of her own behaviour, she’d come round wanting to remind me of mine. But why should she be ashamed of sleeping with her husband?
I voiced this and she gripped my wrist across the table. ‘D’you really think so? I felt so cheap this morning, such a pushover, so I slipped out to see you and Jennie. Didn’t want to seem un-busy. Told him I was going out for lunch, in fact.’
Hence the pink suit. ‘Leaving him doing what?’
‘Well, kicking his heels at home for a bit, then going back to his cottage, I suppose. Thinking how horrid and poky it is, hopefully.’
I sighed. ‘Angie, he wouldn’t be back if he didn’t mean it.’
‘You don’t think?’
‘Of course not. It’s too public. For God’s sake, go home. He’s the one that’s made a fool of himself, not you. If you’re quick he’ll still be there, and if I were you I’d sit down at the kitchen table with a pot of coffee and some Hobnobs and iron a few things out. Then book a holiday.’
She gave this some thought. After a bit she got slowly to her feet, replacing the chain of her Chanel bag on her shoulder. ‘Maybe you’re right. D’you know, you’re quite wise, sometimes, Poppy.’ She peered at me, surprised.
‘It’s always easy to be wise about someone else’s life,’ I told her gloomily.
‘Ain’t that the truth,’ she agreed. Then she hesitated. ‘And I’m sorry I came round to, you know … ’
‘Gloat.’
‘You didn’t really lock him in the loo.’
‘Didn’t I?’ I breathed, relieved.
‘Nah. Just chased him down the corridor. You know how these things get exaggerated.’ She grinned.
I tried to grin back but my muscles wouldn’t quite make it. Angie gave me a quick kiss before exiting, rather speedily, through my back door.
Later that day I ventured to the shop for bread. One or two people smiled knowingly at me in the village. I smiled thinly back. Someone even hummed ‘Edelweiss’ behind me in the queue for the post office. I wondered if this was a family thing? That just as my father thought he was Elvis whilst under the influence, I became Julie Andrews. Interesting. A psychologist would have a field day. Perhaps even suggest a nunnery. And wouldn’t a habit be handy? To hide behind? I tiptoed home.
Three days later I got a message via email from Janice.
Dear Poppy,
I hope you and the children are well. I so enjoyed looking after them. And I hope you’re feeling better.
I cringed, toes curling in my trainers.
Sam has asked if you’d come in and sign some papers. He’s away this week, but doesn’t need to be here, apparently. I wondered if you could pop in tomorrow?
Away. I got up quickly from the computer. Well, obviously he was, miles away, if he had any sense. What papers, I wondered. I gazed above the screen to where the patch of damp had spread across the wall, flaking the paint. I picked at a bit and a whole sheet came off in my fingers. I could fix that now, of course. Easily. Build a new wall. Not that the thought afforded much pleasure.
On the appointed morning, Jennie had the children for me and I duly drove into town. The first snowflakes of the year were falling, swirling down onto my windscreen, melting softly on impact. November. Soon it would be Christmas, my first one alone, I realized. I swept the snow away efficiently with the wipers, wishing I could swipe away so much else. Start again. With a heavy heart I parked, put my head down against the gathering blizzard and with a bitter wind sneaking around my neck, trudged up the high street in my old brown coat. Pushing open the familiar door I realized I hadn’t accounted for this: hadn’t factored in the memory of this place causing melancholy to sneak over my soul, a lump to form in my throat as I mounted the stairs. I wondered if I’d need oxygen when I finally achieved reception. Or a hanky? Instead I plastered on a smile and handed my plant to Janice, hoping this wouldn’t take long.
‘Oh, you shouldn’t have.’ She took it, smiling.
‘Nonsense, it’s the least I can do. It was so kind of you and I didn’t even thank you at the time.’ Dad had obviously done that, when he’d belted up the stairs to spring the children from their beds, but still.
‘I got terribly drunk, as you probably heard.’ Bare-faced honesty, I’d decided, was