On the Run (Whispering Key #2) - May Archer Page 0,97

was dry as dust.

Lety set down my juice and a mug of coffee for Rafe, and Rafe winked his thanks.

“I thought you were ready to move on from this. You were the one who told Gage you were fine with him going to fetch Jayd.”

He lifted an eyebrow. “Revisionist history. You talked to Dad, who talked to Gage…”

“Who still wasn’t going to do it because he felt like you’d be angry.”

“So then you sat me down for a lecture.” Rafe sipped his coffee and winced. “Remind me, why are we here and not at the Bean?” he whispered.

I snorted. “I have no idea why you’re here. And I didn’t lecture you. I reminded you why you should give Gage your blessing to go pick Jayd up. He’s your oldest friend. He’s someone you care about, deep down—”

“Way deep down,” he muttered. “Like, six feet under.”

“And it seems like maybe he’s questioning things, just like you and Gage and I did once, and it’d be good for him to have some support while he does that. Maybe it’ll help him feel more comfortable about coming out.”

“Or maybe he never will, Beale.” Rafe rolled his eyes. “He’s famous now. You and me, even Gage, we were scared, but we didn’t have nearly as much to lose as Jayd does.”

“Yep,” I agreed, less than enthusiastically. “Guess that’s a possibility, too.”

“So why do you care so much about making Jayd comfortable? And do not,” he added, “give me some shit about helping him out because he’s an old friend who deserves support. You’re hoping this’ll make Toby come back somehow, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, maybe,” I admitted defiantly. “Maybe I’m hoping when he feels like he’s free to choose… he’ll choose to come back. Maybe once the way is clear for him, I can tell him that I… I have feelings for him. I know it’s a long shot. I know he’s got a life of his own in the city, and I don’t know if I could be happy there, but… I want to tell him. I want to try.”

Rafe nodded slowly and sipped his coffee again. “I hope you’re right.”

I rolled my eyes. “Come on, don’t hold back. This is the part where you tell me I’m ridiculous. This is the part where you tell me that I need to stop believing in fairy tales, and I should stop waiting for the Universe to act. This is the part where you tell me I was foolish to fall for a guy like Toby in the first place, let alone for thinking it would ever work out permanently—”

Rafe shook his head. “Not gonna do that,” he said softly. “I want you to be happy, Beale. I wanted you to not be afraid to want something and go for it. That’s all. That’s… that’s it. You know, when Aimee left…” He blew out a breath. “The God’s honest truth is, I was almost relieved. And I felt so, so guilty about that. Felt guilty about everything. Our relationship hadn’t been good for a while, but I’d figured it was circumstances, you know? Money was tight, we were all struggling. I figured things would sort themselves out.” He grimaced down at his coffee. “And they did, but not in a way I ever expected, and I had a lot of regrets. Did I not tell her I loved her enough? Did I just not love her enough, period? Part of the reason I blame Jayd is because I mostly blame myself.” He looked up at me. “But only part of the reason,” he said severely.

“Of course,” I agreed.

“Anyway, the worst part of Aimee leaving was wondering if there was something I could have done to make her stay, Beale. So if you care about him…”

I gave Rafe a long, measured look, and he grinned.

“Oh ho! So it’s like that, is it? Fine, if you loooove him—” He shoved my shoulder good-naturedly. “—then you need to keep trying. But I don’t get why you’re waiting on Jayd. Shit, go find Tr—Toby,” he corrected. “Do it today.”

I shook my head stubbornly. “I need to do this for him first. I need to clear this obstacle. He can’t make a real choice if he’s concerned the media will find him and…” I bit my tongue before revealing Toby’s identity as Hagatha. “I want to make the situation safe first.”

“Pretty sure telling him he’s not alone would go a long way toward making him feel safe. That’s what Aunt Hagatha would