Rule Breakers (Off Limits #2) - Nicky James Page 0,32
had seemed like the right thing to do.
It had proven to be yet another mistake.
We’d never loved each other. In fact, we’d hardly known each other. We were connected by Edison. For years, we’d struggled to be a couple for the sake of the child neither of us had wanted.
Edison gave me a sense of responsibility. He grounded me. Reflecting back on my teenage years, I saw with utter horror the risks I’d taken and the poor decisions I’d made.
I carried a lot of regrets.
But the one thing that had never made the list was what had happened with Denver.
What we’d shared all those years ago was sacred. He lived in a secret place inside my heart, a place Shianne had never had access to. My love for him went deeper than brotherly love. He was my counterbalance. He was my sanity. We shared a bond two brothers usually didn’t share.
Somewhere along the way, over the years of growing up and suffering through all the bullshit thrown our way, we’d swapped places. Tonight was proof. Whereas I’d long ago buried my reckless urges, Denver’s were being born. He was braver, bolder, and more determined than he’d ever been in the past. Too many years being a yes-man, and now he was stepping up and saying no. He was taking control, and I knew there was no stopping him.
Staring at the ceiling, I replayed the night over and over again, trying to look at it rationally.
Then I laughed, startling myself with the sudden outburst. But fuck, what about my life or this situation was rational?
I’d fucked my brother not an hour ago while my son had lain on the bed beside us and watched. But it was more than that. It was the feelings that accompanied it that were causing the most turmoil.
Feelings I shouldn’t have. Feelings this new, half-conservative me didn’t know what to do with.
Was I prepared to cross a line with Edison?
I buried my face in my hands and scrubbed. This was insane.
When I tried to imagine it, the images came easily. For as disturbing as they were, there was a mixture of enchantment and danger involved I couldn’t ignore. The old me, the rebellious delinquent child who’d laughed in the face of rules, thrashed and threw himself against the steel door inside my mind saying, “Do it! Take him!”
My body was on board, as evidenced by the erection tenting my towel. Denver was onboard, my once overly cautious brother. What about Edison?
How many times had I heard people tell me how alike we were in every way? When I tried putting myself in his shoes, I balked and had to rattle the repulsive images of my father from my mind. Even in my prime, there was no way I’d have ever considered such a thing.
Yet Edison had been there.
He’d watched.
The eagerness of his attention was engraved in my mind’s eye.
Did he want this?
I groaned and beat a fist against my temple. All these thoughts were making me dizzy. I couldn’t focus at this ungodly hour.
Rolling to my stomach, I shed the towel to the floor, crawled under my cool sheets, and killed the light. I would sleep and make decisions another day.
My mind had different plans and showed me all I could expect if I took the path leading straight to hell.
Chapter Nine
Edison
Everything over the following week was annoyingly normal. It was like Friday night had existed in a different reality. I’d gone to sleep in my uncle’s bed, floating on a cloud of elation, and had woken up the next morning alone with nothing more than the memories of one of the wildest nights of my life.
Uncle Denver hadn’t brought it up. Each morning, he adhered to his rigid schedule of coffee, showering, reading the news on his iPad, and heading off to work. In the evening, he spent an exorbitant amount of time in his office when he wasn’t doling out chores like I was a child and not the man he’d fucked into his mattress the past weekend.
I was annoyed, to say the least.
Thursday night, the first week of February, I had a standing commitment to have dinner with my mother. Once a month without fail. Otherwise, she pretended I didn’t exist. I could have said no, but it wasn’t worth the hassle. I’d learned the hard way when I’d turned nineteen and decided I didn’t want to hang out with her and her boyfriend-of-the-month while they sat around, got high, and ignored me.