Rugged Guard - Jason Collins Page 0,66

not getting fleeced, you’re the one doing the fleecing.”

“Oh, thank God. You’re my hero.” Parker whined as I handed him the Advil and a bottle of water. “I felt like I was going to die. This headache is going to be the death of me, Derek.”

“Do you think you’re going to be good with just the Advil and the water for the plane ride?” I asked, sitting down near the edge of the bed. I’d popped an Advil of my own as I’d made my way back up to the room, my previously throbbing headache now more of a faint reminder of pain. “We could always order room service before we go or—”

“I don’t know if I’d be able to keep anything down,” he admitted. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever been that drunk before in my life.”

“You weren’t that drunk last night,” I replied. “I mean… shit. Were you? You do remember last night, don’t you?”

After I spoke, I saw Parker’s cheeks go red. “Yes. I remember last night. It was really… intense.”

“Intense in a good way? Or a bad way?” My words came out shaky as I asked the question.

“I don’t know, Derek.”

“You don’t know? Or you don’t remember?” I replied. “Because those are two pretty different things—”

“Can we not?” Parker’s tone seemed lined with frustration as he gently cut me off.

“Can we not what, Parker?”

“We were drunk last night, Derek,” Parker continued. “We don’t need to talk about what happened last night, okay? It’s honestly really embarrassing to even think about.”

“What’s so embarrassing about it, Parker?”

“Can we just forget about it? Please?” Parker pressed. “Besides, if we stay at this hotel too long, we’re going to be late for our flight and I don’t want to get stuck at the airport today.”

“Parker, can’t we just—”

“No, Derek. We can’t.”

“What if we could make it to the chapel in time? Hell, what if we could stop by the clerk’s office, too?” I scoffed. “The flight’s not for a couple of hours, Parker. If we really wanted to we could just—”

“Derek, I can’t.” Parker looked over at me with tears suddenly in his eyes, threatening to roll down his cheeks. “You don’t get it. You’re not listening to me.”

“That’s because you’re not saying what you even want—”

“I just want to forget about it,” Parker cut me off again. “I don’t know why… why can’t we just move on?”

“So, that’s it, then?” My words came out as a whisper. “That’s your final answer?”

“It’s not my final answer. It’s not my anything.” Parker sniffled. “It’s just… you’re not being fair right now. Do you get that? You’re asking me… I don’t even know what you’re asking me—”

“Yes, you do.” It was my turn to interrupt Parker as I stared back at him. “You know exactly what I’m asking you, Parker Williams.”

“Then ask it,” Parker murmured. “Ask me the question. Ask it and ruin everything between us. Ask it and ruin the rest of our lives.”

“Parker—”

“Don’t you get it, Derek?” Parker let out a wounded laugh. “You ask me that question and you kill us both. All of this… every last bit of this… everything… that’s how you make it all go away. That question is like the worst magic wand to have ever existed.”

“Parker, just listen to me—”

“We need to get ready for our flight,” Parker said as he moved away from the bed. “I know it’s a few hours away, but you never know how long it’s going to take to check out of a hotel. Plus, it’s Vegas, so the airport’s definitely going to be crowded. Moving through security is going to suck ass.”

“Parker, you can’t just pretend like I’m not in love with you,” I called to him, across the room. “And you can’t just pretend like you’re not in love with me.”

“Love isn’t the problem here, Derek.”

That was the last thing Parker said to me before he proceeded to get ready for our flight out of Vegas.

And even a few hours later, as we sat next to each other on the plane, there wasn’t much left to say. Parker kept his attention on an in-flight magazine, and I kept mine on the Vegas skies as we flew out of the city, idly wondering if this was the last time Parker and I were ever going to mean anything more to each other.

19

Parker

I was in love with Derek Lavine.

I loved him more than anything. I loved him more than the way the sun felt on my skin on a