Rugged Guard - Jason Collins Page 0,48

wrong with falling for him, anyway? Parker would make a wonderful partner—”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend before, ever,” I explained. “And I’ve only barely had girlfriends. I’m not really… I’m not the kind of guy who does relationships. I’m used to getting in and getting out.”

“And why is that?”

“It’s just the nature of my job—”

“Wrong. It’s the nature of you,” Iris interrupted. “I apologize for the trick question, but I wanted to see how you’d answer it.”

“The nature of me?” I scrunched up my expression. “How am I supposed to keep up with a relationship, Iris, when I’m a billion miles away? When I’m taking on jobs that are literally on another side of the world?”

Iris stared back at me for a moment or two.

And then, she slowly shook her head. “Mr. Lavine, I think you’re suffering from an unfortunate hypocrisy.”

“Hypocrisy?”

“Yes,” she continued. “I think that you’ve become so accustomed to being needed by your clients all around the globe, that you’ve neglected to consider your own needs. You seem to understand that people need you, so much so you’re willing to be at their beck and call, even a billion miles away. And yet, you seem to deny that you, yourself, may also need someone in that same sense.” Iris then shifted a little closer before she went on. “What I’m saying, Mr. Lavine, is that I suspect that you’re afraid of needing someone in the same way that others need you. Because how can you be needed and also need, all at the same time? You think it makes you lesser of a bodyguard, don’t you? That needing someone else somehow makes you weaker?”

“I’ve… never thought of it that way,” I murmured.

“Well, it’s much easier to sabotage what’s right in front of us rather than deal with our inner contradictions.” Iris sighed. “And while it pains me to consider all the romance you’ve thrown away, in the name of just doing your job, I’m glad that it seems to have led you to my Parker.”

“Right. Parker.” I folded my arms across my chest as I voiced the rest of my thoughts. “I just… Iris, I get what you’re saying about not sabotaging something and feeling needed but… I still don’t know how I’m supposed to make it work with him. Even if I like him, more than I’ve ever liked anyone, I’m still going to be called away to the next job, sooner or later—”

“There it is again.” Iris sucked in a breath between her teeth. “You’ve truly got an affliction, don’t you, Mr. Lavine? You’d love to blame it all on your work, every time you’ve broken someone’s heart, every time you’ve broken your own.”

“But what else am I supposed to do, Iris?” My words were lined with a beggar’s edge.

Iris shrugged. “Have you ever considered doing something else with your life? Something that would allow you to stay in one place long enough to at least build the foundation of a functional relationship?”

“You mean, I should stay here? In Park City?”

“I think you should do whatever your heart tells you to do,” Iris said. “However, if you did happen to want to make a life for yourself here… my granddaughter tells me that the park rangers are hiring.”

“Your granddaughter’s a park ranger?”

“Yes.” Iris beamed. “I don’t think she could’ve ever been anything else. Even while she was growing up, the girl seemed to only love two things. Reading huge library books all about plants and their ecology, and calling that litter hotline on people, the one where you can report cars for throwing trash out of their window.” Iris laughed at the memories. “Anyway, I think you might be good for the position.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because you deeply care about things, Mr. Lavine, even if you don’t wear your heart on your sleeve,” Iris explained. “And caring is the first step to being a worthwhile protector of the environment.”

Iris suddenly snapped her fingers again before she brought a hand up to the side of her face. “Right! The environment! The flower resurrection! If you’ll excuse me, Mr. Lavine. I need to make an urgent call to an old friend.”

“Oh. Definitely. I’ll just talk to you later,” I started. “And thanks for talking to me, Iris. It made me feel a lot better.”

“Yes, speaking from a heavy heart tends to make it so much lighter.” Iris smiled at me. And then, she began to quietly make her way toward the opposite side of the building.

15

Parker

“Gavin Swift.”

“Who?”

“Gavin