off after talking about delaying the wedding, and my mind went crazy. I thought you were leaving me.”
“I wasn’t thinking straight. I kept thinking about the baby—” The King’s voice cracks. He swallows thickly, his eyes misting up.
I nod, running my fingers over his scalp and holding his head to my breast. Grief weighs heavy on the two of us. It’s an odd sort of mourning. We never met the baby. It was no more than a couple weeks after conception, but the sense of loss is immense. Indescribable.
Heartbreaking.
When the haze lifts ever so slightly, I realize that Theo and I are still in his office, holding each other. He stares at me, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear before kissing my forehead.
“We can try again, Cara,” he whispers. “The doctor said we could still have children later.”
“Please,” I say, shaking my head. “Not yet. Don’t say that yet.”
Theo nods, wrapping his arms around me to hold me close. We stay like that for an hour or three, I don’t know. A long time.
I text my father that everything is okay. Theo and I go for a walk along the royal beach, saying nothing. We don’t need to speak a word to know that we’re both going through an awful, unexpected kind of heartbreak.
But as the sun goes down and dusk falls, I realize that we still have each other.
Theo might always focus on being responsible. Fulfilling his duty. Doing the right thing.
I might always focus on running away. Being independent. Wanting to be free.
But we balance each other out. He keeps me grounded, and I keep him from burrowing underground.
That day is one of the worst days of my life. It comes and goes, and I wake up next to Theo the next morning with swollen eyes and a scratchy throat.
But I’m here, beside him. He opens his eyes, spreading his arms for me to come snuggle. He nuzzles his head in my hair, groaning in contentment. We lay there, without speaking, knowing we have each other.
We lost something yesterday, but in the light of the morning sun, I realize that we gained something bigger.
I know that Theo loves me. There’s no doubt in my mind now. No questions in my heart. Seeing him break down in the office yesterday, and waking up next to him in this plush, feathery bed, I realize that he loves me as desperately as I love him.
He didn’t come to New York because he felt like he had to. He didn’t ask me to marry him because it was his duty to do it. It wasn’t to avoid a scandal or to get ahead of a controversy.
He wants me. Loves me. Cherishes me.
I trail my fingers through his chest hair, inhaling the scent of his skin. It brings a small amount of comfort to my aching heart to know that he is here beside me.
We have many weeks of grief and mourning ahead. I can already feel it coming. But as I lay on Theo’s chest, all my doubts disappear. He’s here, and he cares about me just as much as I care about him.
The royal doctor comes with us to Arlian Island. We take the sea plane over, and I still spend the whole ride staring out the window at the crystal-clear waters below.
When we get to the villa, the doctor gives me the injection that will get rid of my ectopic pregnancy. I know he’s saving my life. I know it has to be done. I know Theo and I will have other chances to have children, and that in the end, it’ll be better to have them after we’re married.
I know all these things, but it still hurts like hell. I hold my composure through the procedure, but break down as soon as the doctor leaves the room. Theo holds me, his tears mixing with mine.
Those few days are a haze. I have to get one more injection a couple of days later. I’m nauseous, but I don’t know if it’s because of the injection or the general heartache and grief that consumes me. Theo is there, always. We spend two weeks in the Arlian villa sleeping, crying, walking on the beach, and generally just recovering from the shock and the loss.
As the days pass, I realize what Theo means to me—and it’s everything. Even more so than before, I realize that he’s the one person in my life that loves me for me. He accepts me as