I love him, and that’s why I pushed him away. It’s best for him if he isn’t tied down to me. I can suffer on my own. Raise my child on my own. Stand on my own two feet for once.
If he stayed with me, he’d be signing up for a lifetime of caring for someone sick. He’d be giving his life up for a child that isn’t his, and then he’d watch me fall apart in front of him.
Breaking up with him is the kindest thing to do, even if it feels bad.
My baby moves, and I put a hand to my stomach. A few violent kicks later, and I’m giggling with Ivy as she touches my belly.
That’s all it takes for me to snap out of my mood. I spend the rest of the day focused on my baby, planning a renovation in one of the guest bedrooms to turn it into a nursery. Ivy pores over Pinterest boards with me, and not for the first time, I’m grateful to have my sister by my side.
A week later, though, on Christmas Day, I’m dealt another blow. Ivy stares at me across the dinner table and announces that she and Luca will be moving out into their own place.
I blink back tears and paint a smile on my face. “I don’t know why I’m surprised.”
“It’s not that we don’t love living here,” Ivy says. “It’s just that we’re ready to have our own space. The babies will be here in less than three months, and we’d like to have the house set up before then.”
I nod, wrapping my arms around my sister. She hugs me tight, but it does nothing to dispel the emptiness I feel inside.
I’ll be alone. Again.
But instead of spiraling into self-doubt and self-pity, I square my shoulders and force myself to smile at my sister. “Do you have a house picked out yet?”
She shakes her head. “We have some viewings set up for the first week of January. Will you come with us?”
I nod, smiling. “Of course.”
Ivy’s face brightens as she lets out a relieved sigh. “Thanks, Margot. I was worried you’d be mad at me. We’ve lived together for so long, and I didn’t want you to feel like I was abandoning you.”
“Not at all,” I lie.
I swallow past a lump in my throat, turning my face away from her as I compose myself. Taking a few calming breaths, I force myself to think of the positives.
From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I feel like things have been happening in quick succession. Within months, my entire life is turning on its head.
But that’s not a bad thing.
Even with Dante, as sad as I am to see him go, I’m glad that he was in my life. The few weeks that we spent together gave me hope that I can still have happiness in my life. Even if I never meet anyone like him again, I know that my life isn’t doomed.
I have hope for the future, which is something I never would have thought when I got my diagnosis.
Maybe, even with this disease, I can still live a full life with the time that I have left.
35
Dante
A short, grey-haired woman with perfectly round glasses smiles at me from behind a reception desk when I walk through the door. A few people are sitting down in the waiting area, and the whole room is plastered with informational posters and motivational quotes.
The reception desk has large, block letters proclaiming the organization’s name: Huntington’s Disease Society of America.
I’m in New York City, at the organization’s head office. Just over two weeks ago, Margot told me she didn’t want me in her life. I’ve spent every waking hour researching her disease, and it’s landed me in the United States. If I’m going to show Margot that I’m not afraid, I need to prove it to her.
“You must be Prince Dante,” the woman behind the desk says, and all heads turn toward me. “Welcome to HDSA! I’m Lou.”
“Thank you,” I answer, nodding to her and then to the people waiting in the room.
The woman jumps up from her chair with surprising agility, moving from her chair behind the desk to beckon me forward. “Let me show you around. Vicky said you’d be here today.”
“Thanks for having me on such short notice.”
“Oh, please,” Lou says with a grin. “We wouldn’t turn