until night. On account of my fall, and the fact that I’m still required to do two hours of physical therapy for my back every day, I’m able to skip most of the next day’s itinerary, save for the evening meal.
Unfortunately, my brother makes it abundantly clear that I’m expected to attend dinner, at least. It’s an intimate meal with only the Farcliff royal family, our family, and a few dignitaries. My date will be here, too.
I pop a couple painkillers in my mouth and wash them down with a gulp of wine. Roughing my hand through my hair, I glance around my room and find my black tie. Slipping it around my neck, I don’t have time to tie it when a knock sounds on the door.
When I open it, I’m surprised to see Princess Dahlia standing outside my bedroom door. She smiles at me, flicking her baby blue hair over her shoulder.
“Your Highness,” she says. “I hope I’m not interrupting.”
“Not at all.” I step aside and motion for her to come into my chambers. The Farcliff royal family have been kind enough to provide each of us with our own bedroom, living room, and bathroom. I motion to one of the sofas in the ornate living room, and Princess Dahlia steps over to it. Her gait is soft and almost fairy-like, just like the rest of her.
“I wanted to speak to you before tonight’s event,” she starts, smoothing her hands over her navy dress. Tilting her head, she stares at me with sharp eyes.
“Okay,” I respond, a little bit apprehensive.
“My husband and I were talking about our upcoming tour through Farcliff. You may or may not be aware, but Damon has become a bit of a spokesperson for mental health.”
I incline my head.
Dahlia smiles at me. “We were hoping you’d join us.”
“Me? I’m not exactly a model for a healthy mind,” I snort, shaking my head. My knee bounces up and down and I scratch the back of my neck. It’ll be a few more minutes before the pills I took take effect, and an itching sensation is crawling up my spine.
The need.
The addiction.
Her Highness doesn’t seem to notice. She tucks a strand of pale blue hair behind her ear and smiles wider. “Of course you’re a model for mental health! You survived a debilitating spinal cord injury, and not only lived, but learned to walk again. You’re an inspiration, Your Highness.”
“You’re too kind,” I say, resisting the urge to fidget. I clamp my hands together and pray that the pills will take effect soon. Maybe I should have taken an extra one tonight—I know that Cara will be at dinner. I’ll be on edge until it’s over.
Princess Dahlia smiles. “The tour begins shortly after you’re due to leave in a month’s time. Damon and I were hoping that you’d stay on for a few weeks, a month or two, tops. We have events and workshops planned to promote mental health resources in the Kingdom.”
Dahlia stands up, and I do the same. She extends her hand toward me and I lean down to kiss her fingertips.
“I hope you’ll consider it,” she smiles. “I understand you’ve only just reunited with your family, but sometimes distance is a good thing.”
Her eyes are sharp, and I know exactly what she’s talking about.
Cara.
Is it that obvious how much it cuts me up? Is it so painfully clear to the whole world that she tore my heart out of my chest, smiling politely as she did it?
Of course it is. I’ve never been good at hiding how I feel.
I give Princess Dahlia a tight-lipped smile and incline my head. “I’ll think about it.”
“We’d be honored to have you.”
She leaves, and I’m left alone again.
My thoughts bounce around my head, and I have a hard time keeping up with them. I head to my pill bottle and take two more before finding my joint case and taking out a spliff. Sitting by the window, I light up and take a puff.
I need to take the edge off.
It’s more than an edge. My entire body is made up of jagged edges. I crave numbness, if only to forget that I’ll have to spend yet another evening in the presence of the woman who broke my heart.
Closing my eyes, I let my thoughts drift to last night.
To Ivy.
The scent of her skin. The feeling of her body on top of mine. The look in her eye when her gaze passed over my bare chest.