I’ve ever done was a bit of acid at a music festival a few years ago. I don’t…
I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to think about it.
How is it possible that everything looks healthy? How is it possible that everything would turn out okay? Am I making the wrong choice?
The way I feel is almost like survivor’s guilt. I couldn’t possibly come out of this unscathed. Why do I get to be so lucky?
I let out a breath, squeezing my eyes shut. I almost don’t believe the doctor. I’ve spent the last four months worried about the damage I might have done to my baby. Ever since I’ve found out about the pregnancy, I’ve been doing everything right. Before that, though…
I shake my head, not wanting to think about my life before the retreat. I was spiraling out of control. I was stuck in my own head.
Maybe I did willingly do heroin. I don’t remember much from that night except taking Beckett up to my bedroom. I was on a self-destructive war path.
The doctor sighs, taking a seat beside me. She takes my hand in hers and stares at me with soft, kind eyes.
“As far as we can tell, your baby is completely normal. I know this pregnancy might not have come at the ideal time for you, but try not to stress out about it too much. You’re going to be a loving, wonderful mother.”
A sob racks through my throat, surprising me. Emotion chokes me, and I shake my head. “I don’t know about that. I’ve been so irresponsible.”
“You’ve done everything right from the moment you found out you were pregnant. You’ve completely changed your life. You should be proud of yourself. You’re exactly the type of person that the rest of us should look up to.”
I’d laugh if I wasn’t afraid it would turn into an ugly sob.
The doctor’s kind words bounce off me and fall to the ground. I let them slide away, not believing any of it.
I’m the furthest thing from an inspiration. People keep telling me that I’m a role model and that I’m brave and strong. Felicity told me that the feedback on my interview has been overwhelmingly positive.
She said I’m ‘back in the game.’
What game, exactly? Why does it feel like I’m always losing?
The only thing I have is persistent, nagging anxiety about my entire world crashing down around me.
The doctor gives me one last smile and then leaves the room. When I rejoin Ivy, she’s beaming.
“Good news?” I ask, forcing a smile.
“I’m having twins!” Ivy laughs, clapping her hands over her mouth before throwing them around me. She hugs me tight. “I’m so glad we’re doing this together, Margot. It would be scary on my own.”
“You’ve got Luca, too,” I remind her.
Ivy’s face softens, and a smile stretches across her lips. “Yeah,” she says. “I do.”
We head back to Spoonful of Sugar together. Ivy’s friends, the twins Giselle and Georgina, are working behind the counter.
They follow us into the back of the bakery, looking at Ivy expectantly. Ivy gives them both a kiss, mumbling something to them. The twins squeal, hugging her.
“Twins!” Giselle exclaims. At least, I think it’s Giselle. One of them has a mole on her left cheek, but I can’t quite remember which is which. They both change their hair color so often it’s hard to keep up.
“Lucky,” Georgina says, wrapping Ivy in another hug.
I smile, sliding my own hand over my stomach. As the dread inside me melts away, I allow myself to be happy for just a moment.
I’m pregnant with a healthy baby. My recovery is going strong, and Hunter is out of my life. Ivy and I are closer than ever, and my baby will have not one, but two cousins to play with their entire lives.
A warm, comforting hand slides over my lower back, and I turn to see Prince Dante beside me. He smiles and I lean into him, feeling my heart tug in his direction.
I have him, too. Not that he and I are anything. We’ve only known each other for a matter of days. But at least for a little while, I can enjoy his attention, his affection, and his kisses, can’t I?
He fills my heart up to the brim, and that can’t be a bad thing.
“How was the doctor?” Dante asks, nodding to Ivy.
“It was good. Everything’s healthy and normal,” I say. “Ivy’s having twins.”
Dante’s face breaks into a smile—a real, genuine smile—and my heart melts into a puddle of