Royally Screwed - Lynn Van Dorn Page 0,27

you for months and now I need to save you?

Yuri: not silence. But yes that

Angelo: practically silence. I think we’ve exchanged less than ten words since graduation. You haven’t texted

Yuri: I know and I am very bad and you must be the BETTER MAN and come save me. And then you can take it out of my hide. If you still want to. You probably don’t.

Angelo: I’d like to reach through my mobile and strangle you. Save you from WHAT?

Yuri: the people keep flirting with me and I’m so weak and I’ll let one of the mens take me home and then the Daily Mail will print pictures and then they’ll ground me and I won’t get my PhD and then YOU won’t get to marry a doctor and that will suck.

Angelo: just how much have you drunk?

Yuri: just little bit pissed tiny

Angelo: tiny what? Tiny dick?

Yuri: ha now come get me now there is this guy with his hand on my thigh Angel SAVE ME

Angelo: how? You’re in Oxford and I’m in the City. I’m pretty sure I won’t be in time to save your virtue. Such as it is. I'd need a time machine.

Yuri: you are a bastard and I’m in soho I think probably

Angelo: why the hell are you probably in Soho?

Yuri: Jackis fault

Angelo: go on

Yuri: JUST COME GET ME

Angelo: where’s your security?

Yuri: ditched em

Angelo: fuck. Is Jacki still there?

Yuri: no she and gf abandoned me for REASONS

what reasons

Yuri: THE DUDES HAND IS BACK I SWEAR TO GOD IMMA CUT A BITCH

Angelo: where exactly are you? I can’t do any rescuing without coordinates. Are you in a pub?

Yuri: think so yes

Angelo: and the name of the pub?

Yuri: red lion

Angelo: is there one in Soho?

Yuri: maybe or could be kings head

Angelo: I hate you

Yuri: no you loooooooovvvvvvveeeee me

Angelo: the fuck I do.

Yuri: we’re getting married forever but not if you dont rescue me from mr octopus hands over here

Angelo: Go to Google maps. Take a fucking screenshot. Send me the fucking screenshot.

Yuri: kay dont yell

Angelo: try not to get violated while I’m on my way, numbnuts

Yuri: love you too boo

“Come on, let's go.”

Yuri looked up and saw the always awe-inspiring sight of Angelo looming over him. “There's my Prince Charming! Knew you'd come.”

“Are you paid up?”

Yuri nodded then regretted that decision. “I'm gonna be sick.”

“Shit. Where’s the gents?” Angelo asked the bartender. He must've gotten some sort of answer because Yuri found himself being tugged along rapidly behind him. “Toilet or bin. Don't vomit in the sink or urinal. It's rude.”

Yuri wanted to make a smart remark but was afraid that if he opened his mouth prematurely, the things getting vomited on would be his shoes. He stumbled into the stall and knelt down. He'd had fantasies about blowing some rando—who coincidentally looked just like Angelo—while kneeling on the floor of a pub toilet, but this was not how he expected things to go. Feeling miserable, he vomited into a mercifully clean toilet.

Cool hands swept his hair away from his face. “It's okay,” Angelo crooned, his voice low. “I've got you.”

That made Yuri want to cry. His breath hitched and then he got rid of the last of his stomach contents. “I think I want to die.”

“Shut up. Come on. Let's get you cleaned up. There you go. You want to wait outside for our ride to come or stay in the pub?”

Yuri yearned for fresh air. “Outside. Please.”

“What a polite little pain in the bum you're being. You feel any better now?” Angelo held the door open for Yuri.

“A little. Where are we going? It's a bloody long drive to Oxford.”

“To my flat.”

“Oh.” Yuri was presented with several conflicting feelings: relief, anxiety, embarrassment, and overarching everything, contentment. Angelo was taking him home.

The car ride was a blur, but somehow Angelo pulled the story out of Yuri. It was Jacki's birthday and she'd wanted to go to London to celebrate. They hadn't meant to lose the bodyguards, but somehow it had happened. Possibly because they'd gotten on the wrong train, gotten off, then ended up on another that was wrong, and took the third until it stopped somewhere promising.

They'd gone into a club and ordered sticky drinks. A lot of sticky drinks. Then it got a bit fuzzy, but he definitely remembered Jacki and Melanie taking off in a snit, telling him he needed to grow the hell up, so whatever he'd said was bad and he'd have to make it up to them. And then Yuri had