Royal Recruit - Susan Grant Page 0,61
playtime of government cronies.”
“Ignorance isn’t bliss, Keira, it’s dangerous. It’s my duty to protect you. That’s why I want you to be more involved.”
“It’s your duty to impregnate me,” she blurted out, furious that he was pursuing this. “Anything more is entirely optional and infinitely unnecessary.”
She tore off her boots and braces. Turning, she gasped as an angry Jared swung her off her feet and carried her into her bedchamber and away from the curious stares of her attendants.
He threw her on the bed, pinning her there with his body. “So, I’m your boy toy, huh?” He pushed against her. “Just a sex slave. Good for nothing but my sperm.”
“Yes,” she said, her chin coming up in defiance.
“Liar,” he said and kissed her hard, kissing her until she answered with soft, mewling sounds of desire. But the moment she slid her arms over his broad shoulders, he pushed away, leaving her alone and hungering for him on the bed.
“Our marriage is more than that, Keira. It’s more than either of us expected. You know it and I know it.”
She turned her gaze away so he wouldn’t see the truth of his statement in her eyes. Already he’d become an indispensable part of her life. When he was away from her side—meeting with the leaders of the government and the palace staff, poring over data in the library, studying the holy Agran Sakkara or practicing her language, the Queen’s Tongue, to polish away his thick accent—it was as if part of her were missing. Only with her family had she felt anything similar.
She hated to admit to that kind of vulnerability and would not!
“Keira, it’s important that you attend the parliament sessions. It will reinforce your position as leader.”
“I lead nothing but eunuchs.”
“By whose choice?”
She fiddled with a fingernail.
“Your status as a goddess notwithstanding, respect is earned. It can be earned through fear and intimidation, or it can be earned through admiration. Think on it. Which would you rather have?”
“The fear. As long as I frighten them, I maintain my power over them—they who seek to control me, they who take away my choices.” She flounced off the bed.
Jared caught her arm as she passed, pulling her close. “Then come to the next session. Strike a little of that fear into the hearts of Rissallen and the others. Someone’s lying to us. Let’s flush out the rats.”
The challenge in her husband’s eyes almost caused her to say yes. “I cannot go inside those chambers. I have not been there since the day I was…summoned to appear.” She struggled to regain her composure. “And learned I’d lost my entire family.”
“That’s how you found out?” He appeared shaken, as if her anguish was his. “You didn’t know?”
She remembered standing in the vast chamber, feeling so small, all eyes upon her. “No,” she said tightly. “I thought my family was in the hospital. I didn’t know they’d died. I learned it only then in the halls of parliament. Jared,” she whispered. “My heart was ripped in half before an audience of strangers. Please don’t make me go there. I can’t. I can’t do it.”
She pushed away, emotions surging inside her—fear and anger chief among them. Scowling, she glanced around the room. “I need something to throw. There’s never a good weapon around when you need it.”
Jared followed her, snatching her arms and pulling her back. “You don’t need a weapon,” he said.
“Yes, I do!” How could she explain that the weapons, the workouts, were the only thing that kept her sane?
He gripped her shoulders, forcing her to meet his eyes. The green of summer grass. She focused on that and it anchored her. That sense of security was all she needed to spill what had been bottled up inside her for so long.
“I grew up alone,” she blurted out. “Always at someone else’s command. I was so afraid all the time. I didn’t understand what they wanted me to do, how to be the queen, how to be a goddess, so I retreated, choosing nothing. No one thought to comfort me, not in the way I wanted—the way I needed. It wouldn’t have taken much. A hug…” Her voice broke.
A simple hug would have meant the world to her. Knowing she wasn’t alone.
She’d never admitted this, her weakness, to anyone, not even to herself. But in the face of Jared’s quiet strength, his accepting, nonjudgmental gaze, she was finally able to unburden herself. “Anger protected me from the fear. Working with weaponry channeled my