I blink. Here I go again, worried about a future that might be irrelevant in a few weeks.
Yet my heart tells me otherwise.
And while we are in this protective bubble now, in secret and behind these gilded gates of Kensington Palace, exploring emotions and possibilities in this safe place, we won’t always be shielded from the real world. Once we go public, we will have tremendous obstacles and challenges.
Hard ones.
But Xander promised me we would work through them. That somehow, I’d find a way to keep myself and a relationship with him.
Which sounds naïve. Impossible.
No, my heart counters, it can’t be. Not in this day and age.
I have to trust him.
I have to trust us.
And that’s exactly what I choose to do.
Chapter Twenty
Xander Wales
“That was so fun,” I say as soon as Xander and I leave Ivy Cottage. “I can see why your family is your squad.”
It’s after midnight by the time we leave. After dinner, we talked, laughed, and ended up playing classic board games, of all things. We paired off in teams, and I learnt something else about Xander.
He’s incredibly competitive.
And he hates to lose.
Especially at Pictionary.
A smile twitches at my lips. I’ll remember that for future reference.
“They love you,” Xander says, interrupting my thoughts as we walk back towards his home.
To my surprise, he reaches for my hand and links his fingers through mine. I begin to pull away, but he firmly tugs it back.
“It’s late,” he says. “I don’t bloody care who sees. And you’re walking with me at midnight—anyone with a brain cell knows we aren’t meeting up for a friendly chat.”
I try to tug my hand free again. “But … what if someone reports back to the palace? What if your mother finds out?”
Xander’s hand doesn’t even flinch.
“I’ll handle her,” he says decisively. “But right now, I want to touch you. I’m desperate to touch you, so please, let me hold your hand until I can hold you the way I really want when we get back to my place.”
I feel as if I’m floating from his words.
“Okay.”
He laughs. “My God, I do have to work to get anything from you.”
I grin. “Well, you wouldn’t like it if I were a yes girl, would you?”
“No. I’d hate it. But back to the original topic,” he says, squeezing my hand in his and sending a happy shiver through me. “My family loves you.”
“Well, the feeling is mutual,” I say happily.
I enjoyed talking to his cousins and Clementine; they’re all fabulous women. They were so normal and grounded, and the kind of women I’d naturally gravitate to if I had met them outside of this world. Roman and Charlie seem like great men, just like Christian and Xander.
And in Camden, I see the old Xander. Charming. Fun. Flirty.
I sigh. Poor Bella and Charlie. The rest of the evening, Victoria and Camden were inseparable, flirting madly with each other and pairing up together for games. When Victoria said she was ready to go, Camden offered to share a cab with her. When she agreed, I immediately put my hand on Xander’s and squeezed it to let him know to stay out of it, because the scowl on his face told me he was about to go all former military captain and command that Camden leaves his cousin alone.
Yet, at the same time, a part of me wanted Xander to stop it. Not out of fear for Victoria, of course, but because of the hurt look on Bella’s face when they left together—I can’t imagine what she was thinking. And poor Charlie looked as if someone had punched him in the stomach for the remainder of the night.
And watching them made me so grateful for this man walking beside me right now, who adores me and wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him.
“I’m grateful for you,” I say, feeling the urge to tell him so.
Xander stops walking. He gazes down at me. “Why do you say that?”
“Is that what you say when someone gives you a lovely compliment?” I tease.
He grins. “Careful, Sunshine. I might have to kiss you if you keep this up.”
I laugh, and he does, too. Then I clear my throat.
“I feel sorry for Bella,” I say as we resume our walk. “She was having a lovely conversation with Camden, and as soon as Victoria walked in, it’s like Camden forgot he was talking to her.”