My heart nearly throbs with pain at the sight of it. I want to erase it. Take it away. Whatever this life has done to him, Xander doesn’t deserve this.
But I can’t do that.
Instead, I do the one thing I know is true in my heart.
“I promise you, with all that I am, that whatever you tell me will not change what I want,” I say, willing him to see the truth in my eyes, “which is to see you.”
“But Poppy, you don’t know what you are agreeing to,” Xander challenges.
“No, I don’t. But I know I like this. I like you,” I say, and this time, I squeeze his hand affectionately. “And as a woman of steel, as you say, I will take whatever your past holds, and we’ll go from there. Together, if that’s what you want.”
His eyes cloud with emotion. I see gratitude. Relief.
And such affection for me that it takes my breath away.
“My God, how did I find you?” he whispers.
I smile. “I believe you have to thank your brother and future sister-in-law for that one.”
A smile finally lights up his face, causing my heart to skip a beat.
“Remind me to get Curry Takeaway something extravagant as a thank you present.”
I laugh. “Why do you call Christian that?”
He grins wickedly at me. “That falls under family stories. That’s something I will explain to you on Thursday. But with the limited time I have left, I have other things I want to do with you.”
As his mouth finds mine, easing it open, I melt into his arms, surrendering to his passionate kiss.
I also surrender to whatever he has to tell me on Thursday, because I already know it won’t make a difference.
Ever.
With that acceptance in my heart, I kiss him back and relish every second I have with the man who is holding me in his arms.
Not the Prince of Wales.
But my Xander.
And that, I think fiercely, is who he will always be.
No matter what.
Chapter Twelve
I’d Like to Place an Order, Please
I place a tray of flooded biscuits in front of me on my worktop, all ready for me to create into edible works of art. But these aren’t any ordinary biscuits.
These are the prototypes for Clementine and Christian’s reception at Frogmore House.
I draw in a breath of air, eager to get started. I stare down at the shapes in front of me, each one telling a part of their love story. One biscuit has the American and United Kingdom flags intertwined. A circle that will have their initials piped onto it. Windsor Castle is another image. Lastly, there’s a biscuit that is shaped like a campfire, to which I’ll add not only wood texture and flames, but marshmallows roasting on sticks to represent s’mores. Clementine said that is one of the first things they did together when they started dating, and she wanted to surprise Christian with it.
Campfire.
My mind immediately triggers back to Xander and his delicious scent. How he smelt so masculine and sexy up close.
That wonderful scent—the scent of him—lingered on my jumper after I finally managed to drag myself home after midnight. I briefly close my eyes, remembering everything about last night. How he smelt. Felt. Tasted.
An excited shiver runs through me as all of this floods back.
Okay, that’s a complete lie. It hasn’t come back to me.
That’s because the memories have never left me.
Xander has been on my brain every second I’ve been awake, and if I could remember my dreams in the short span I actually was sleeping and not thinking of him, I’m sure he was there, too.
I mix some red food colouring into my bowl of white icing and begin to stir. I can’t believe these feelings I have for him. I’m excited when I think of seeing him tomorrow. I want more of his smiles. I want him to squeeze my hand in his, as he seems to be fond of doing. I want to curl up into his body and gaze up at the stars with him.
And I want to know about his life inside the walls of Buckingham Palace.
I get the red to the exact shade I want for the Union Jack and reach for a prepared icing bag. I think about Xander’s life as I begin to fill the bag with icing. There’s definitely an unpleasant back story about his relationship with his mother, that is for sure. I think back to the tabloid headlines I’ve seen about her. Mostly positive, with all the work