off, Xander! Something is coming out soon. I’m alerting my family, bosses, and friends now. Call me when you are alone.
Then I hit send, and with embarrassment, start calling everyone I know while Jillian, Amelia, and Bella sit and listen to me share my romance with Xander. Nobody in my family believes me until I send a picture from the night we were playing games with the squad. Once it sinks in, they are stunned. Eva is mad I didn’t tell her straightaway. Leo keeps saying it is “unbelievable.”
His reaction heightens my anxiety. If my own brother thinks our romance is unbelievable, what will the rest of the United Kingdom think? That I’m a complete joke? That it’s ridiculous to believe Xander would even look at a girl like me, let alone date her?
Then I tell Matilda and Shane, who are also stunned but supportive. Shane even manages to joke that all the publicity is bound to do wonders for the shop, and he isn’t concerned a bit about it, thank God.
Isla, like my family, thinks I’m joking. Having learnt from that conversation, I send her a picture while we are chatting and tell her the press might be surrounding our flat. That they’ll try to get info out of her. And my nausea rises again when Bella tells me to tell her to destroy as much of our rubbish as she can before putting it in the bins, as the press will go through it. Isla is sweet and supportive, and stabs of guilt roll through me that I didn’t confide in her straightaway. And I tell her so. Which she says is crazy, that this was an extraordinary situation and she would have been protective of it, too.
I text Priya, in case I’m followed to the commercial kitchen on Monday. She has the best reaction of all. I start with sending her the picture and a brief note that this was about to hit the world, to be prepared for the press to camp out, and that I’m sorry for the circus that is headed her way. She replies that I’d better get The Biscuit Cutter the Royal Warrant of Appointment from the Prince of Wales himself for being his girl. Then she fills it with crown and heart emojis and says she wants to hear all about it on Monday.
Between each text, I keep refreshing the feed for Dishing Weekly with an overwhelming sense of dread. Watching and waiting for the article that will turn my life upside down the second it’s posted.
And the entire time, Bella keeps rubbing my back. Speaking softly and guiding me with what instructions to give to my parents and friends regarding what the press might do and how to prepare for the onslaught of attention that will be coming their way once the Dishing Weekly story breaks. To remind them—particularly Eva—to guard what they say to keep people from offering their insight about me to the media for fame or a cheque.
But Bella’s calm presence and soft voice keeps me hanging on when I think I will break. I wouldn’t be functioning without her.
Soon, we are heading back towards St. James’s Palace.
“You’re coming in with me,” Bella says. “You’ll be protected here while you wait for Xander to come home.”
I know she’s right. And to be honest, I’m grateful for her company right now.
Before I know it, I’m stepping outside the car, gazing up at the red-bricked palace and hardly believing this is my refuge from the press. From the world. Normally, this would be exciting, entering the very private doors of St. James’s Palace, which are rarely ever shown.
But right now, I’m blinded to everything around me. I follow Bella as we go to the private residences of the palace, where she has a flat. Bella opens the door and ushers me inside, guiding me straight towards the sofa.
“Have a seat,” she says gently. “I’ll make you a cup of tea.”
I nod, sinking into the cushions. I continue to hit refresh on my phone. No messages from Xander, as I know he’s not going to have access to his phone for hours.
Yet I know that’s not why I keep scrolling and searching on my device.
I’m not waiting for a message from Xander.
I’m waiting to see how bad the damage will be when the bomb finally drops on my sheltered world.
I turned on notifications for Dishing Weekly, and it has remained eerily quiet on their royal coverage.