Royal - Danielle Steel Page 0,41
the gardens with the fancy pram. She let Lucy bring Annie to see the new baby, and commented on how prettily Annie was dressed. Lucy had made the dress herself, copied from children’s clothes she saw in magazines.
“She looks like a little princess,” Annabelle Markham remarked one day, as Lucy smiled proudly.
“She is a princess,” Lucy always said firmly, as though she believed it. And Jonathan gave Annie rides on the pony the Markhams had bought for their children. She always squealed with delight when Jonathan set her on a horse of any size and held her. She had no fear of horses or anything else, and she would cry when he took her off. Lucy worried that she’d be horse mad like her mother, which was a luxury she couldn’t indulge in and didn’t want to. She still thought them dangerous beasts.
Jonathan took them to a nearby lake to go swimming that summer when he had a day off, and taught Annie to swim like a little fish. She had no fear of water either, and it touched Lucy to see such a big man so gentle with a child as young as Annie. He loved the time he spent with her, and with Lucy, and he said it made him dream of having children of his own.
“Do you ever think of marrying again and having more?” he asked her shyly when they were at the lake.
“No, I never think about it,” she said, not wanting to talk about it with him. “Annie keeps me busy, and I’ve had to bring her up alone.”
“You wouldn’t have to if you married again.” She had just turned twenty-one, and marriage was the farthest thing from her mind, or so she claimed. He was twenty-six, and had just gotten another promotion. It was clear now that when the stable master retired, Jonathan would take over for him. It was no longer just a wish, it was a sure thing. He was the most responsible man Lucy had ever known, and in many ways he reminded her of her father, who had been a good husband and father and a good man. But she didn’t want any man interfering with her relationship with Annie. She had assiduously avoided any involvements or entanglements with men. She had years ahead of her to bring up Annie, and Jonathan said he didn’t want to think of settling down until he was the stable master, and then he would have a cottage with his job. There would be plenty of time to think about marriage then, but not before that.
In spite of their determination not to marry, and caution about getting too involved in a romance, Lucy and Jonathan’s attraction to each other evolved slowly into a deep mutual respect, and a long, slow romance that became harder and harder to deny. When Annie was four and he had at long last become the stable master and earned one of the better cottages, he proposed. Lucy was twenty-two and he was twenty-seven, and he told her it was time. He wanted to marry and have children with her, which worried Lucy more than she wanted to admit.
“I’m not sure I could ever love another child as much as I do Annie,” she said when he mentioned children to her. “Everything about her is perfect, and I love her with my whole heart.”
“I think all parents feel that way, until they have the second child in their arms, and realize that they can love another baby as much,” he said sensibly.
“I’m not sure I could,” she said thoughtfully. To make up for the royal life Annie would never have, Lucy had devoted her whole life to her, heart and soul.
“It would be good for Annie to have a brother or sister. It will be lonely for her growing up as an only child,” he said, trying to convince her, but Lucy wasn’t sure. He kissed her to seal the deal then, and Lucy felt stirrings she had never felt before, which frightened her too. She wasn’t going to let passion run away with her as Charlotte had, and end up with an unwanted pregnancy. And what if she died in childbirth? Who would take care of Annie then?
“I would,” he said without hesitating when she shared her fears with him. He was surprised by how frightened she was of going through childbirth again. “You’re not going to die,” he said gently. “You’re a strong girl, Lucy.