Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake (Winner Bakes All #1) - Alexis Hall Page 0,149
against Harry, his arms folded gently around her.
“And now,” said the announcer, for the benefit of the twelve people who were still watching live television, “it’s a brand-new series of Bake Expectations.”
The screen came alive in shades of green and blue and gold as the eye of the camera swooped across the British countryside, through the gates of Patchley House, up the long gravel drive, and finally alighted on the dapper figure of Grace Forsythe.
Harry’s hands tightened over Rosaline’s. “Hope I don’t come across as too much of a ballsack,” he whispered.
“You won’t. And even if you do, who gives a fuck.”
“Be honest with you, mate. I give a little bit of a fuck.”
“Oh my God,” shrieked Anvita. “It’s me. And I look fiiiiiiine.”
Amelie had got close enough to the screen that it was both bad for her eyes and other people’s viewing experience. “Where’s Mummy? Where’s Mummy?”
“There’s Dave,” said Ricky. “I really wanted to like him. But I think he might have been a prick.”
“He’s wearing a fedora, mate.” That was Terry, craning awkwardly past Lauren. “Sure sign of a wanker.”
Half turning, Lauren contrived to get in Terry’s way to a frankly impressive extent. “Excuse me? I own several fedoras.”
“It’s okay, Loz.” Rosaline nestled deeper into Harry’s embrace. “There’s different rules for lesbians.”
“It’s Mummy,” cried Amelie, pointing helpfully. “Mummy, you look pretty.”
“Excuse me,” Rosaline told her, “I look like somebody who is going to win this whole damn thing.”
Except . . . she didn’t. She looked like somebody who’d missed her train, tried to impress an arsehole by lying to him, and had no idea what she wanted or what she was doing. But that was okay.
Because she was going to work it out.
Since Leaving the Competition
DAVE dropped out of university to travel round Nepal and has not been seen since.
FLORIAN and his partner Scott are still not married. They still do not care.
RICKY has completed his degree and now works for Procter & Gamble, a job he describes as “a bit of a laugh.”
CLAUDIA returned to her legal practice, but still bakes at weekends.
JOSIE continues to bake for children and her husband’s parishioners. Apparently they like her payne foundewe even if the judges didn’t.
ANVITA has qualified as an optician and is finally engaged to her boyfriend. Her nan is very proud of her.
HARRY is still working as an electrician with his dad, but has started running hands-on cooking classes in primary schools on his days off. His nieces’ friends continually ask him for mermaid cakes.
NORA turned down a six-figure book deal, saying, “It’s just cakes; throw it in a bowl and see what happens.”
ALAIN launched his own cooking-themed YouTube channel called The Cotswold Baker. It currently has 247 subscribers.
ROSALINE is now a full-time cookery writer. She and Amelie live in a house that no longer has aliens in the boiler. They are currently negotiating pet options between a very small dog that Amelie feels should be called Anglerfish or a tank of hissing cockroaches.
Grace Forsythe, Marianne Wolvercote,
Wilfred Honey, Colin Thrimp,
and Jennifer Hallett return next season on
Bake Expectations with a delightful
new group of bakers in
Paris Daillencourt Is About to Crumble!
Available Summer 2022
READING GROUP GUIDE
A LETTER FROM THE AUTHOR
Dear Reader,
I was asked to put something here for people who are reading Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake as part of a book club. Which I thought was a lovely idea until I realised that what it meant in practice was that you probably only read the book because someone else in your club picked it. And, you know, good on them. Or, if it was you, good on you. And, hopefully, you’re not currently feeling that they/you made a horrendous mistake.
As you might have noticed, I’m finding this section a little bit awkward, partly because I’m British and am therefore required by law to find everything awkward. But partly because it just seems a bit odd to be asking you questions about my own book. I’ve always been a big proponent of the Death of the Author—and I feel it’s really important for readers to have as much space as possible to decide what’s important to them about what they’ve read and to draw their own conclusions.
But discussion questions have been requested. So, discussion questions you shall have. Please do feel very much at liberty to ignore them and talk about whatever the hell you want. And thank you again for taking a chance on one of my books.