Roping the Cowboy Billionaire - Emmy Eugene Page 0,72

complicated things through his mind, and he really disliked that about himself.

Right now, he disliked almost everything about himself, and he didn’t even know how to live and breathe through the next minute. Somehow, that happened, and he focused on the next breath in, and then out.

If he could do that for long enough, he might be able to figure out how to do something besides breathe.

That evening, he ate alone in a booth in the corner of a sports bar. The restaurant was loud, with TVs mounted on every available surface. He ignored the baseball on the screen, because the only sport Blaine cared about was horse racing.

He wasn’t even really sure he cared about that. He thought he should, because he was a Chappell, and Chappells had been working in the racehorse industry for generations. He did have the love of horses in his blood, and he’d miss the Kentucky sky if he didn’t go back. The white fences and emerald green grass. Featherweight and his whole family.

He’d go back to Bluegrass Ranch; there was nothing out here for him.

The real problem was, there was nothing back there for him either.

22

Beth paced in front of the barn, throwing a look toward TJ every now and then. The boy was right where she’d told him to stay. Having the kittens living out of the woodpile helped, and her son reminded her so much of her husband.

As usual, whenever Beth thought about Danny, her pulse quickened and then stopped. She pulled in a shallow breath and held it, the world spinning for just a moment. As quickly as the vertigo had come, it dissipated, and Beth could breathe again.

The whole episode had lasted three or four seconds, but Beth hated them. If she had enough of them throughout the day, they left her drained and exhausted. Trying to maintain the hundred-acre ranch did that by itself; she didn’t need episodic grief to take her down too.

She’d asked her therapist on Friday afternoon how much longer she’d have to deal with the panic, depression, and random tightening of her chest. Sam hadn’t given her a timeframe.

“You know, Beth, everyone deals with things on their own timetable.”

She hadn’t liked that answer. She wanted someone to tell her she’d feel better by Halloween. Then, once the calendar flipped to November first, she’d be better.

“Where are you, Trey?” she muttered to herself, her boots crunching over the loose gravel in front of the barn. She wrapped her hand in a thick brace whenever she left the house, because she didn’t want to take any chances. She still had a long road ahead of her before she’d have full use of her hand, and she thanked the Lord every day that it was her left hand and not her right that had been cut.

She could still make scrambled eggs and macaroni and cheese. She could still type decently fast and write checks. She could tie her shoes and brush her teeth. Everything would’ve been harder had her dominant hand been the one with forty-seven stitches in it.

Those had actually come out a few days ago, and Beth’s hand pulsed with pain as a reminder. Afterward, she’d taken the highest dosage of painkillers she was allowed and laid down in her bedroom, all the black-out curtains drawn.

Her daddy had come to take TJ for an afternoon of miniature golf and wading in the river, and Beth tried not to think about the dozens of tasks around the ranch that needed doing.

Trey Chappell had been coming every few days to help her. He usually brought a crew of at least six men, and they made sure the horses were thriving, all her equipment was still working, and any major issues were taken care of.

She could feed chickens and goats, and she did. She did the daily feeding of the horses too, and while she couldn’t clean a stall, she could open a gate and move an animal from one pasture to the next.

The hand she used to mouse around on the computer worked fine, and Beth was able to check her accounts and keep up with her bills as best she could.

Like lightning, a hot flash of fury hit her. It sizzled through her whole body and left quickly. She really wanted that to stop too, but she suspected those particular feelings came from such a deep place that they’d be with her for a while.

She turned toward TJ when she heard someone talking. Trey approached him,