I tell Tatum, holding her in my arms. Sydney’s in line to get her another Dole Whip. I’m not sure she’s going to understand what I’m saying to her. She’s three, and the extent of our conversations have never been much, other than her telling me what to do.
Tatum shifts to look at me but doesn’t say anything.
I watch her face as I say the next part. “I won’t see you for a while.”
Her brow comes together, her hands on my cheeks. “Boy.” She sighs but doesn’t say anything else. I’m not entirely sure how to take that.
Sydney approaches with the Dole Whip in hand. We sit on a bench, the sky bursting to life with reds, greens, and purples. With Tatum on my lap, I hold the bowl while she dips the spoon in.
“I told her I’m leaving tomorrow,” I confess, looking to Sydney for her reaction.
Tears surface in her eyes, her head on my shoulder, her hand on mine. “She knows you’ll be back again.”
I press my lips to the top of Tatum’s head. “I won’t forget you, kid.”
At first I think she’s crying, because something wet hits my hand wrapped around her, but then I realize I’m wearing a good portion of that Dole Whip.
IN THE HOTEL ROOM, I lie next to Sydney, the sounds of Tatum sleeping on the bed next to us soothing, and terrifying. Leaving them is no longer a fear. It’s a reality in less than six hours.
I touch my hand to Sydney’s cheek, sighing. “Don’t forget me.”
Tears surface in her eyes. “That’s impossible.”
I watch her expression fade from sadness to confusion, mirroring my own. “I know you have a life to live, responsibilities, all of that, but—”
She cuts me off. “This won’t be easy, but I’m certainly not in a place where I want to date anyone. I wasn’t even looking for a relationship. And then you happened.”
“I wasn’t looking for that either.”
Her expression softens. “Funny how it finds you when you’re least expecting it.”
I nod, unsure what to say.
“What I mean is, I wasn’t looking for any of that, and you came along and filled the gap I didn’t realize was there. So while you’re gone, just know you’ve got the field covered.”
I snort, shaking my head and trying not to laugh. At least I know she won’t be dating anyone while I’m gone. “You’re something else, Sydney.”
She cups both my cheeks in her hand. “And you’re going to be amazing. I can’t wait to watch every game and talk to you every single day.” Her lips press to mine, tender, sweet, but there’s a certain passion that hadn’t been there earlier today.
With the lights off, the only sounds the humming of the air conditioner, it’s easy to want our last night to be more. I imagine making love to her for hours and constantly confessing my intentions of forever with her. But it doesn’t happen that way. We have these tender moments in the dark, with Tatum snoring next to us.
Sighing, I touch my hand to Sydney’s hip and squeeze, my voice low and meant only for her to hear. “These phone calls… will they be rated R at some point?”
Her bottom lip rolls between her teeth, her breathing picking up. “I think that can be arranged.”
Bringing her closer, I want to do so many things to her but with Tatum in the bed next to us, I know that’s not happening. “I wish I could show you how much I’m going to miss you,” I whisper, holding her to my chest.
Her hands roam up my back. “You already have by bringing us with you.”
I hope she’s right because this feeling inside my chest, the one pulling me in two different directions, love and baseball, it’s more than I want to deal with.
THE REAL SHITTY part about leaving happens at the airport, when Sydney flies back to Phoenix and I head to Salt Lake City.
As Tatum sits on the suitcase staring at a kid picking his nose, I draw Sydney into my arms. “I’m gonna miss you.”
“Not as much as I miss you,” she cries into my chest.
“Hey,” I soothe, rubbing her back. “I didn’t think you were going to cry.”
“I didn’t want to,” she confesses, shaking her head and holding tighter.
I bring my lips to her ears. “Don’t forget me.”
“I won’t. I never could.” Pulling back, she stares at me, and if I ever had any doubt about how she feels about me, I don’t now. “I love you,”