Room 4 Rent A Steamy Romantic Comedy - Shey Stahl Page 0,43

my nervousness, I lift the cup in my hand and take a drink.

He steps forward, and the shovel bumps against my shoes. His black eyes look into my soul.

It’s a good thing I had sex last night because I think I’m about to die.

We’re standing next to his car, and it looks about as bad as he does. Someone died in there last night. I’m sure of it. It’s everything I can do to keep from scrunching my nose at the smells coming from his car that has the doors open.

Working his jaw back and forth, he dips his chin and catches my terrified eyes. Licking his lips, he whispers, “Keep your mouth shut about what you see here, or I’ll break your million-dollar arm.”

I swallow hard. “Noted.”

His hand hits my chest. “There’s muffins on the counter. Eat them.” And then he walks away. Just like that. Most bizarre shit I’ve seen out of him yet.

One. I’m not eating any fucking muffins from this joker. Two. I need to find a place to live. Now.

Inside the house, Ez is eating muffins with that damn robe on. “My aunt made peanut butter muffins.”

“I’m not a peanut butter fan. And when the fuck did your aunt show up?” Believe it or not, Luca’s married. His wife is about as friendly as a pissed off mama bear. They have a kid together too. His name is Lucifer.

I’m kidding. But they do have a kid, and his name is something I can’t pronounce. They call him Tony for short. Do you see that kid in the backyard holding a scorpion with kitchen tongs and looking like he’s about to spit down its throat? That’s Tony.

Spitting image of his father, huh? Last time I saw this kid, he lit my jeans on fire. While I was wearing them.

“Fuck you,” Ez says, shoving a muffin in my direction. “It’s peanut butter. Every buddy loves it.”

I keep my eyes on Tony in the backyard and shove my clothes into a bag. “I don’t.”

“Try it.”

“No.” I push the muffin out of my face, crumbs falling all over my clean shirt. “I gotta get out of here.”

“Okay.” Sitting down on the couch, he crosses his legs and eats the muffin himself. “So you fuck that MILF or what?”

Images of last night certainly don’t disappoint, but I’m never one to kiss and tell. “Nah, I took her home.”

His laughter bursts through the small house. “Bullshit.”

He tries harder by egging me on. “That ass though. I’d certainly make the bald man cry with images of that.”

Standing up, I toss my bag near the door and look around the house for what I’m missing. “What the fuck does that mean?”

Grabbing his junk through his robe, he winks. He’s nasty.

Picking up his baseball mitt on the table, I throw it at his head with more speed than I’m sure he appreciates. “Stop thinking of her and your dick at the same time.”

He tries to dodge it, but it hits him in the chest and falls into his lap. “Man, Remi told me some shit about her husband.”

That gets my attention. Don’t tell her, but I wrote Sydney’s address on my hand. That’s not creepy, right? I didn’t want to forget where she lives just in case she needs a reminder of what fucking a real man is like. “What?”

“That guy Remi had been fucking was Sydney’s husband.”

My heart jumps in my chest. “Jesus. Really?” I remember her pointing at someone last night, but I couldn’t make out who the girl was in the dark. But Remi?

Ez shakes his head as if he can’t believe it either. “Yep.”

I run my hand through my hair and put my hat on. I think I left my other one at Sydney’s. On purpose, actually. “Fuck.”

“I know. Remi knew he was married, but I guess he told her all kinds of shit like his wife was cheating on him, and they hadn’t had sex since the kid was born.”

The sex thing could have been true, but I don’t know. Her cheating on him? Highly doubtful. Actually, there’s no fucking way she was. I saw her eyes when she talked about him, and until you’ve been cheated on, you will never own that pain. That guy fucked her over.

“So what, Remi like told her?”

Ez shrugs. “Apparently.”

“Wow.” The sliding glass door leading to the backyard flies open, and in walks Tony, covered in dirt and chewing something. He’s five years old, and I wouldn’t put it past him to be

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