Roman (Raleigh Raptors #2) - Samantha Whiskey Page 0,74
when I hadn’t finished.
“I can’t give up my dream.” I choked out the words.
He halted his approach, his hands dropping. “Your dream?” He whispered.
“Having children of my own. Experiencing pregnancy. A family of my own.” A knife slid an inch into my chest at the devastation on his face. At the betrayal. And I fucking hated myself. Wanted to rip my own tongue out. But…it was the only way he’d believe me. The only flaw he’d ever seen himself as having, when in reality it didn’t even matter to me. “When I saw you carted off that field...I realized I wouldn’t even have a piece of you if the worst happened.”
Liar. Wench.
But I had to save him.
“You said…” he shook his head. “About adoption—”
Oh, God, he could see right through me. He wouldn’t take this without a fight...
“Think about that wall in my home, Roman. We just saw it on Thanksgiving,” I said. “The one that charted our heights?”
His eyes widened. “Adopted children grow just the same.”
“It’s not the same,” I cried, unable to hold on to my emotions anymore as my soul fucking crumbled. I had to make him believe me. Had to. Had to. “If I stay with you, I’ll never be able to measure a little girl with your eyes and my hair. Or a little boy with your confidence and my creativity.”
Roman stumbled back a few steps, his hand flying out to the lip of the island like he needed the stability to keep himself upright.
That knife slid in another inch, slicing into my heart with a white-hot pain as I saw it in his eyes.
The acceptance.
The belief.
That he wasn’t good enough for me.
That he couldn’t give me everything I ever wanted.
When it wasn’t further from the truth—all I wanted was him.
He was too good for me.
And he wasn’t safe if I stayed here.
I couldn’t pretend Rick wouldn’t do this the next game Roman was in…not twenty-four hours away. I couldn’t cower and allow Roman to get hit again, for Rick to pull another block, or worse…
To save Roman, I would destroy myself.
Destroy him.
Because he would hate me after this, I knew that in the depths of my fractured soul.
But he’d be alive. He’d be safe.
“Why are you doing this,” he whispered, his voice low and rough.
I twisted the ring off my finger, the move alone carrying a weight I knew would drown me as I set it down on the island. “I’m sorry,” I said, and fucking meant it. “I can’t put myself in another situation where I give up what I want most.”
God, he would hate me after this.
I wasn’t only losing the love of my life. I was losing my best friend.
He’ll heal. He’ll live. That’s all that matters.
And what would I do? Could I recover from this? What would the next demand from Rick be? I shuddered at the thought, knowing he could demand anything from me now, and I’d succumb. Now that I knew just how badly he could hurt Roman.
“You’re scared?” Roman’s eyes were locked on mine, and I tried to blink away the fear coating my skin.
“It’s over, Roman,” I said, clearing my throat and raising my chin ever so slightly. “Once I sell my next piece, I’ll send you a check.”
He scoffed. “For what?”
“For all the clothes and food and…” A sharp breath stung my chest. “Everything you did for me.”
His gaze narrowed as he shook his head. “Don’t fucking bother,” he said, and I hated the bite in his tone.
But he needed to be there. At that level of anger. Anger would prevent him from looking too closely. From seeing past my walls and discovering the fraud I was.
That couldn’t happen.
“Roman I—”
“Get out,” he said, his words colder than I’d ever heard them. He laid his palm over the ring on the island.
“I’ll come back for my things later,” I said.
“Just go, Teagan. Leave before I say something I can’t take back.”
I backed toward the door, my soul bleeding from the wound I’d hand-delivered to it.
I love you.
I’m sorry.
“Goodbye, Roman,” I whispered with my hand on the knob.
He didn’t look up from where he still stood by the island, even when Walt hurried to his side, some animal instinct alerting him to the danger I’d posed to his owner.
Roman didn’t part his lips for any more words.
Didn’t move, as I opened the door and shut it behind me.
And an hour later, long after I’d fallen into the bed at my apartment, I still hadn’t managed to stop