her back far enough to meet her gaze. “What are you not telling me? Because the difference between that Blake and your I love you were about hundred and eighty degrees in tone.”
Her brow furrowed. “It’s bad timing.”
“It’s bad timing for you to have something you want to talk about and then not talk to me.” Blake gave her a warning look. “Let’s try again. Darlin’?”
She closed her eyes and spoke softly in a huge rush of words. “I know I kinda said before that I was done with having babies, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot, ever since the fall, and I would really like to see if we could have one more.”
Okay. That was a change of topic. Blake focused in on the main point. “You want to have another baby?”
“I don’t think I’m good to try for the six boys you always poked me about, but—” She nodded. “You want some time to think about it?”
“Yep. I need some time.”
She was in the middle of nodding when he jerked to his feet, still cradling her in his arms. Jaxi’s arms tightened around his neck as he stepped quietly down the hallway to their bedroom. He laid her on the mattress then followed an instant later, her body soft and welcoming under his.
“There. I thought about it. I would love to bring another beautiful baby into this world to fill our home with even more joy.”
Her eyes danced with happiness. “Oh, good answer.”
This part never got old. The chance to unwrap her, one piece of clothing at a time. From the very first occasion until now, he loved the privilege of it. The way she shared so enthusiastically, arching against his hands as he pulled away the fabric and bared her skin to his lips. His tongue. His gaze.
He pressed a kiss directly over her heart. “I love every inch of you.”
“You do love every inch—oh, yes. There.” Jaxi breathed in deep before letting the air out in a low, lingering moan. He teased his tongue around her nipple and sucked again.
It took a long time to move from her breasts to her belly. To ease between her thighs and find the sweet heat of her sex already wet for him. Every taste, every nip, every suckling kiss made him harder and yet somehow eased the tightness in his heart.
Loving Jaxi was right and perfect. Them being together was perfect and familiar. He knew exactly how to please her. How to please himself as he slid a finger into her sex and stroked until she shattered under him.
Moving to notch his cock against her, Blake slid in before the waves were done. The pulse of pleasure wrapped him in a tight embrace, and he groaned out his own happiness.
Gazing into her eyes, he drew back then plunged deep.
This was love. Complete acceptance, complete trust. Jaxi dragged her hands over his shoulders as fire lit in his heart. They fell a moment later, the sheets tangled under them, chests heaving as their bodies trembled with sweet, dirty connection.
No matter what the future held, this much was true; he and Jaxi would face it together.
SP Ranch Journal
~Michael Coleman, November 1984~
There’s a hole in the heart of this family that’s never going to be filled. Not with Mark run off to who the hell knows where, and John—
Never knew my soul could hurt this bad.
Mark leaving last month was somewhat expected. He was growing more and more unhappy, but he wouldn’t talk about what was wrong. I didn’t know it was serious enough to have him simply pack up and leave.
John was still living in the house they shared, and he seemed okay with it for the first weeks.
Until he wasn’t okay. I can’t believe that John’s gone.
And to top it off, I can’t get a hold of Mark. No matter which numbers I call, I can’t track him down. He’s going to be devastated to know his twin is—goddammit, I can’t even fucking write the words.
He’s dead. John’s dead, and I didn’t help him.
What could I have done differently? What did I miss? Why didn’t I see?
[halfway down the page, a different set of handwriting.]
My darling love.
I know I’ve said it to you a dozen times now, and I’ll say it a dozen more. I thought maybe sneaking into your journal and putting it front and center for you to see might help remind you—
This wasn’t your fault. You can’t see all, do all, be all. You are