Rockstar Romeo - Abbie Zanders Page 0,18

attraction is based on some teenage fantasy, let it go and walk away. If, however, this woman truly left a mark on your soul, proceed slowly and with caution. Twenty years is a long time and neither one of you is the same person you were then.

~ * ~

Eva

I walked into an empty house. The boys wouldn’t be home for a few hours yet, and the place was eerily silent. This was what it would be like after tomorrow, I realized. Just me, alone in this big house. Once they came back from Ian’s tour—if they came back—they wouldn’t be the same. The experience would change them.

I’d have plenty of time to dwell on that later. When Tommy and Bri left in the morning, I didn’t want them feeling guilty or worrying about me. I wanted them to go with my blessing, safe in the knowledge that I loved them unconditionally and that I would be okay.

I’d save the tears for once they were gone.

The dull ache in my head had intensified. I looked at the clock, verifying I had time. I took one of my migraine pills, followed that up with a hot shower with pulsating jets, and then slept the sleep of the dead for an hour or so.

Afterward, I felt much better. I thanked God and modern medicine for that.

I changed into comfortable yoga pants and a loose-fitting top and then stopped in each of the boy’s rooms. I generally afforded them their privacy; they rarely gave me a reason to invade their personal space. My heart dropped when I saw the suitcases already packed and waiting in the far corners of their rooms.

I took a few minutes to look around at their posters, their trophies, their awards. My boys were good students and gifted athletes. Great musicians too, both seeming to have inherited their father’s gift. I was so proud of them. Loved them so damn much. But now, it was time to let go.

Tommy and Bri had never once let me down, and I wouldn’t let them down either. They were intelligent, thoughtful, talented young men, and I would give them the trust they deserved, the freedom to spread their wings, and the assurance that I loved them, no matter what.

I would not make them choose between me and their dreams the way my parents had.

With that, I went back downstairs to my massive, chef-inspired kitchen. There would be plenty of time for retrospection and introspection later. For now, I was going to ensure tonight’s meal was a good one with as many of their favorites as I could manage.

Over the course of the next couple hours, I made homemade chicken pot pie—Tommy’s favorite—and strip steaks with fried red-skinned potatoes—Brian’s favorite—along with a triple-layer double-chocolate cake with whipped buttercream icing that they both loved.

I sipped at caffeine-laden soft drinks and listened to some vintage eighties hair bands while I did so, songs that Black Raven had covered when we were just starting out. Those songs brought back a lot of memories. Some were good, some not so good, but they all provided a much-needed reminder of how brave I’d once been. Back then, I’d been willing to give up everything for something I believed in.

Apparently, my boys had more of me in them than I’d realized.

“You sure Uncle Ross talked to her today?” Brian loud-whispered to his brother as they peeked through the double doors to the kitchen. “She’s not freaking out.”

“He says he did,” Tommy insisted. “Do you think she, like, flipped or something?”

I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. “Come on in, guys. I’m not freaking out, and I haven’t flipped.”

They entered cautiously, reminding me of when they were little and had done something they knew I wouldn’t be happy about.

“Mom? You okay?”

I gave them a reassuring smile. “Yeah, I am. I get it.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I do. Hard to believe, I know, but I was young once.” For a little while anyway, I thought ruefully.

The chime of the doorbell suspended any further conversation. I’d completely forgotten I’d invited Jace and Kurt!

At first, I was annoyed with myself for not remembering, thinking that it would have been better if I’d called and changed the plans for the evening. As it turned out, having Jace and Kurt around was a blessing. It kept us from thinking too much about what the next day would bring. Oh, the knowledge was there, lurking in the background, but Jace and Kurt’s presence kept the mood