Rock Wedding (Rock Kiss #4) - Nalini Singh Page 0,17
can stick in the fridge and raid at night. Lean meat, vegetables, that kind of stuff.”
Sarah stared at him. “Hollow leg?” He’d been haphazard about food when she’d known him.
“I’ve been working out more.” He bit into the sandwich, chewed and swallowed before adding, “Helps keep me focused and away from all the bullshit.”
All the bullshit, Sarah thought, was code for alcohol and drugs. “Good.” She’d hated what he was doing to himself. “Not that you need to be any more ripped.” Abe had always been fit, despite his addictions, but from what she could tell, he was now carved out of granite.
A smile that held more than a hint of male satisfaction, white teeth flashing across the handsome face she’d fallen for at first glance. But his face alone would’ve never captured her interest and held it. It had been the electricity between them, the vivid, visceral connection that made it feel as if he’d been made for her, she for him.
Looking back, she could see that their raw compulsion toward one another hadn’t been the firmest foundation for a relationship. But she’d had so much love to give, had thought she could make it enough. And Abe… he was so solid, so big and strong and confident that he’d seemed able to handle her need, to be the rock on which she could stand.
“Hey.” He reached out, tapped her cheek. “Where’d you go?”
She gave him a rueful smile. “It’s been a day.” The anniversary rolled around every month like clockwork, and every month she ended up curled in a corner, sobbing out her heart. Perhaps because she had to keep her grief contained the rest of the time—people didn’t think she had a right to mourn. After all, her baby had never lived.
No, that was unfair. It hadn’t been “people,” but Jeremy. He simply couldn’t understand why she didn’t just get over it.
That bastard was now out of her life… and she wasn’t rocking in a corner tonight. “Thank you,” she said to Abe as they stood to clean up the table.
His expression was suddenly difficult to read. “You—” Running a hand over his head, he held her gaze. “Anything you need, Sarah.”
The potency of the connection was too much, a taut string vibrating in the air between them.
Breaking it, she said, “Even your keyboards?”
He groaned. “Why the fuck did you want those keyboards anyway?” he asked as he filled the dishwasher while she started the coffee. “It was the weirdest thing you asked for in the divorce.”
Sarah shrugged. “I was mad because your lawyers said I cheated while we were married.” That had hurt, really hurt, because if there was one thing Sarah knew how to be, it was faithful. “You were the one who went out with groupies while we were still only separated.” Those pictures had broken her heart.
“I was high as a fucking kite,” Abe said bluntly, no excuses in his tone. “After you left, I lost any solid footing I had, went totally off the rails.”
Sarah’s heart ached, wanting to see in his confession a sign that perhaps she’d been at least a little important to him. “How long have you been clean?”
“Since partway through our last major tour.”
Sarah did the math, felt her eyes widen. Abe was closing in on a year in just a couple more months’ time, give or take. “That’s wonderful, Abe.” It made her want to hug him, tell him he could keep going, that a year could become two, could become ten. “Was there a catalyst?”
“You could say that.” His lips twisted. “I almost killed myself.”
Sarah sucked in a breath, the idea of a world without Abe in it incomprehensible to her. “Cocaine?”
“No, I did manage to give that up after our divorce. Decided to focus on hard liquor instead.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “Nearly drank myself into a coma, had one hell of a fight with the guys afterward when they pointed out I was useless to them as a keyboardist if I couldn’t keep my shit together.”
And the shocks kept coming. Sarah could barely take it in—the four men had been friends since they were thirteen years old. She’d thought nothing could ever tear them apart. “That’s what finally got through to you?” Sarah asked, grateful to Fox, David, and Noah. “That you might lose your place in the band?”
“It was one hell of a hard push, got me thinking. Then…” Jaw grinding, he twisted the dishtowel in his hands before putting