Rock Wedding (Rock Kiss #4) - Nalini Singh Page 0,112

with her, one who couldn’t keep his hands off her. “The first time around, with us, I wasn’t confident.”

“You were young.” A pause. “So was I.”

Yes, she thought, he was right. They’d both been so young then, struggling to find their place in the world. She could forgive that young couple, forgive the wounds they’d inflicted. Lifting Abe’s hand, she pressed a kiss to his palm. “Be honest with me,” she whispered in the darkness, confronting a large part of the fear head-on.

“Always. What is it?”

“The drugs—have you felt the need to go back on them?”

Abe blew out a breath. “I’m an addict, Sarah. I always will be.” Another deep breath, another exhale. “That’s the only way sobriety works—if I admit that, if I accept it.” He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “That demon whispers to me from time to time. You know it; you’ve seen me working out at all kinds of random hours. But no matter what, I’ve never, not once, felt tempted to give in. You know why?”

“Tell me.” The words came out husky.

“Because I know the second I touch drugs, I lose you and I lose the right to be a parent to our child. You wouldn’t even have to throw me out. I do not want an active drug user raising our child—so the second I do drugs or take a drink, I give up the woman I love and I give up our child. That’s not going to happen.”

It wasn’t a pretty speech. It was hard and rough and raw, but it was exactly what Sarah needed to hear. Tears rolling down her face, she struggled to turn, laughed midway. “Help me, dammit.”

Abe kissed her instead. Her shoulder, her neck, every part of her he could reach. When she finally managed to get onto her back, he leaned over her to turn on the bedside lamp. “No tears,” he said in a gruff tone as the light washed across her face, but the kisses he dropped on her cheeks were tender, his hand as tender where he cradled her face.

Half smiling, half crying, she stroked his jaw. Her heart ached. “I loved you before,” she whispered, then shook her head when the light in his eyes began to dim. “I thought then that I could never love you more… but I do.”

Fighting the fear that clawed at her, trying to hold her back, she said, “The man you are now, he’s the man I dreamed of all my life.”

Shuddering, Abe buried his face in her neck.

He didn’t speak for several long minutes, his breath jagged.

“Abe?” She put her hand on the back of his head… and she realized he was trying not to cry. This big, strong man was struggling not to cry because she’d told him she loved him. She’d never been that important to anyone.

Her own tears began to fall again.

He kissed her when he raised his head, his thumb stroking over her cheek. And he kissed her and he kissed her. She felt her bones liquefying under his touch, and when he lowered his hand to between her thighs, she shuddered and held on to him as he played her body like a fine instrument. Pleasure rose in a heavy wave.

She surrendered, gave in.

TWO DAYS LATER, SARAH SCOWLED at Abe when he said, “Let’s go out.”

“I’m in my pj’s and I want to stay that way.” It was only six p.m., but Sarah had decided eight months of pregnancy gave a woman a certain latitude—especially after she’d spent an hour on the phone with a particularly demanding client.

Pressing his hands on the sofa on either side of her, Abe smiled that heartbreaker smile. “Please.”

She gave a huge sigh, though butterflies danced in her stomach—damn but the man was sexy. “You’ll owe me big-time.”

“Done.”

Getting up and dressing in a pretty jersey dress in a vibrant shade of orange that Diane had insisted on buying her the last time they went shopping together, she called down to where Abe waited in the downstairs hallway, Flossie by his side. “Shall I put on proper makeup?” She’d brushed on enough to feel ready, but it was just the lightest touch.

“No, but take some.”

Huh? She went to open her mouth, then thought to hell with it and put some makeup in a little carry bag. As she zipped it up, she paused. Was Abe planning to take her somewhere? Bubbles of excitement skittered under her skin. Maybe—she bit her lower lip—he’d ask her to marry