The Rock Star's Baby Bargain - Lili Valente Page 0,51
I listened to a podcast about that. I remember the number sounded crazy at the time, but the research backed it up.”
Her expression brightens. “Right! So it’s super important we use what choice we have to move us closer to our goals. Whether that’s eating healthier meals or finding our dream job or looking for a partner who ticks all our boxes…whatever. If we don’t, then there’s a good chance we’ll end up with whatever or whoever randomly crosses our path, which is more of a crapshoot than I’m comfortable with.”
She shudders. “Or we’ll be like my mom and hook up with whoever seeks us out, and that can be downright scary. She attracted narcissists who preyed on vulnerable people like it was going out of style. And yeah, I know she had a lot working against her, but if she’d consciously looked for someone who would be a healthy fit, maybe she would have ended up with better men.”
“That makes a lot of sense, actually,” I say. “Colin used to do stuff like that when we were kids. He was always meditating on success and making vision boards, these big, elaborate collages of all the things he wanted to happen for the band.”
Colette points a victorious finger at my chest. “See! It works. Or at least it can work. I think you have to be realistic in what you wish for.”
“Why?” I ask, playing devil’s advocate. “Why limit yourself? Why not see how influential your willpower can be?”
She arches a brow. “Because I can’t fly? No matter how much I wish I had wings?”
“Maybe you can,” I challenge. “Figuratively. What would make you feel like you’re flying?”
“I don’t really want to fly; I get airsick. But…” She crosses her arms over her chest, lips pressing together. Finally, she shakes her head. “I don’t know what my unrealistic dream would be. I’ve always been a simple dreamer, I guess.”
“And what are your simple dreams?”
“I’d like to keep making money using my artistic side and help make positive changes in the word, but honestly…” She shoots a furtive gaze my way. “Well, neither of those is at the top of my list.”
“So what is?” I press.
She bites her lip. “It’s not very progressive of me, I know, but…I’ve always wanted the fairy tale, the thing women have wanted since the dawn of time. To find a partner who makes me feel safe and loved and special, and to make a home with him where our kids feel the same way.”
“Now who’s being sexist?” I tease. “Don’t you think men want the same thing?”
“Um, no, I don’t,” she says, laughing. “I have yet to meet a man who doesn’t put his career first.” She bobs her head from side to side. “Okay, so that’s not totally true. I’ve met a few, but they put fun and friends first, not love or family. I think the dream of a happy nest above all else is usually a feminine dream.”
“You’re probably right,” I say. “But it’s a good dream. An important dream. Though, hearing you talk about it like that kind of makes me feel like an asshole.”
She blinks. “What? Why? You’re not an asshole. Not even a little bit.”
I stretch my neck to one side. “I don’t know. Maybe I am. I’ve always taken my grandparents and the amazing home they made for me growing up for granted. But thinking about it now…” I shrug. “None of my dreams would have had a shot in hell of becoming a reality without them.”
“That’s not true,” she says, before conceding, “but yeah, it would have been harder. Launching from solid ground is much easier than launching from a flaming dumpster being swept downstream in a flood.”
I grin. “That meme has resonated with me way too often lately.”
She nods, her eyes going wide. “Right? Every time I turn on the news this year, I feel so helpless.” She sighs, a troubled look tightening her features. “Sometimes, I wonder if it’s responsible to want to bring children into a world like this one, with so much suffering and danger in it.”
I stop, turning to face her on the trail. “Of course it is.”
Her brows pinch closer together. “You really think so?”
“I do. Children are hope. And that seems like exactly what the world needs right now. Lots of hope. Lots of compassion. Lots of people trying to love each other the best they can, even when they disagree.”
Her eyes begin to shine, and she blinks faster. “Where