The Rock Star’s Fake Fiancee - Kenzie Reed Page 0,62

is making me feel very stabby. I force myself to focus on the good part, on the fact that he’s telling me I’m not like them.

“So how would things be different for us? Because the band is always going to be important to you.”

“Well, mainly because I care about you enough to do whatever it takes to make it work. I’d put in the effort to keep things going, because you’re worth it.”

“Am I?” I nestle my head against his shoulder. “Tell me more.”

He lets out a long, contented sigh, and strokes my sweat-damp hair. “Being with you today feels just as right as it did ten years ago. Like a puzzle piece sliding into place and suddenly everything’s whole. You’re beautiful and smart and stubborn and totally nuts and unselfish and you don’t take any crap. Even from me. And even when you’re driving me absolutely batshit crazy, I still want to be with you. I’d rather be with you, being driven around the bend, than with anyone else in the world.”

A rush of emotion chokes me, and tears prick my eyelids. I blink hard so he doesn’t see me crying.

“Your turn,” he says. “Say smooshy things that make me feel good about myself.”

“Smooshy?” I laugh. “Really?”

“Smooshy,” he repeats firmly.

“O-okay.” Words tremble on my tongue, then fear chokes me and I swallow them. This feels like standing on the edge of a cliff, teetering over a vast abyss. “Wow. This is scarier than I thought it would be.”

“Yes, it is. That’s why it took me so long to do it.”

I hesitate so long that he sighs and says, “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. The voices in my head are very fond of you.” Chicken, I scold myself. “And I am more than fond of you. I think about you all the time. Being with you makes me feel…light. I always feel such a burden on me, to make sure that everything’s running the way it should and people are acting the way they should, and I know I end up acting like a crabby old lady a lot, and it makes me feel so stifled and unsexy. But the way you look at me makes me feel beautiful.”

“You are beautiful.” He tangles his fingers in my hair and gives it a little tug. “Never doubt it.”

“I feel like I’m falling in love with you. Or maybe I’ve already fallen. It’s hard to tell, because when it comes to romance or risk, I wall off my feelings.”

His smile fades. “And I’m responsible for that. That’s entirely on me.” His voice is soaked in regret and guilt. “I can’t change the past, but I can spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it.”

The rest of his life? That would mean the rest of our lives. Together. That’s what he’s asking me for.

He strokes my cheek with his thumb, staring at me thoughtfully. “Hey. Could you possibly come on tour with me?”

“I hadn’t even thought about it. I mean…maybe?” I chew my lip. “It’s just…you’ll laugh.”

“I promise you I won’t.”

“Well, I’m kind of OCD.”

“Yeah, obviously.” Ouch. I blink hard at his casual acknowledgement.

He shakes his head quickly. “I don’t mean that in a bad way, at all. I have my hang-ups too. Magnus and I missed a lot of meals growing up, and we were always wearing dirty, secondhand clothes. Kids at school called Magnus ‘Raggedy Man’ and they called me ‘Patches’. There were plenty of nights where Magnus and I sat in our room hungry while my stepfather and stepbrother were in the living room eating TV dinners. Now I have this fear of running out of things. I always have to have backups of everything. Clothing, food, notebooks.” He looks at me side-eyed to see my reaction.

“You’re talking to a country girl with mild prepper tendencies. In a bad storm, we can lose power for a week. Having backups sounds entirely sensible. Do you keep lists of your stuff? That would help you make sure you have what you need.”

“I keep the list in my head. I even know when things are going to expire. Ask me when Monica’s pregnancy vitamins are going to expire.”

I grin at him. “Sebastian Monroe, can you please, for the love of God, tell me when Monica’s pregnancy vitamins are going to expire? I really need to know.”

“August 2023. So we’re good there.” He says that with relief, nodding to himself in reassurance, and my heart melts. “She’ll have used them all