Rock Me Deeper (Licks of Leather #5) - Jenna Jacob Page 0,14

together.

Shivers of pleasure skipped through me. And as I opened my mouth to suck his digit in deep and bathe it with my tongue, Syd’s wicked lips drifted lower. Pausing to press tender kisses to every cut, burn, and bruise over my chest, he anointed each wound with his warm lips. Syd dragged his tongue up my neck and over the shell of my ear. The breeze of his heated breath sent tremors thundering through me.

“You taste as sweet as I remember, angel. I’ve waited a fucking lifetime to kiss you again.”

Waited? Then why didn’t you ever come back or try to find me?

An icy wedge of grief sliced through me. Hot on its heels was overwhelming sadness for all the amazing moments like this we’d lost after Syd cruelly threw it all away.

Why am I doing this?

We weren’t a couple anymore and never would be. We were nothing but strangers trying to recapture a glimmer of our youth. We couldn’t go back and change or erase the past. Nothing could change the fact that Syd had left me when I’d needed him most.

Ugly memories tore through my brain, clawing at my still-pulsing bliss. They blurred the passion and hunger etching Syd’s face until all I could see was the abject horror and panic that quaked his sixteen-year-old body as he turned and ran, leaving me to survive the ugly consequences alone.

Flashes of that horrific day played like a strobe in my mind. I’d stood there frozen in fear, heart breaking as I’d watched him disappear. But when he never bothered to look back, that was the gut-wrenching blow that had shattered my heart into a million pieces.

All the kisses, kindness, and compassion Syd drowned me in couldn’t erase the past. Couldn’t wipe away the hell I’d endured.

The tsunami of rejection pouring through me stung like acid as it washed the heated blood from my veins, replacing it with icy resolve.

“Stop,” I cried out in a tortured groan.

Syd froze and lifted his head. A million questions skipped over his green eyes, but only one word spilled from his lips, “Why?”

“Because we can’t do this. I can’t do this…not with you.”

“Are you seeing…dating someone?” A humorless scoff rolled from his throat. “Of course you are. A woman as gorgeous as you inside and out couldn’t still be single.”

“What?” I blinked. “No. I-I don’t date.”

Syd arched his brows and studied me intently. “I know trust has always been hard for you, Caris. Hell, it probably still is. But once in a while you have to take a chance, angel.”

“Have you?” I countered curtly, knowing he’d struggled with the same issues, too.

He opened his mouth to answer, then quickly snapped it shut. Obviously, he had no desire to dissect his fucked-up childhood any more than I did mine. Silently, he grabbed the shower gel and squeezed some into his palm.

“Mia dropped off some pajamas for you,” he stated in a matter-of-fact tone while he rubbed his hands, coating them in bubbles. “Darren talked to the hotel manager. He said a doctor should be up soon. I didn’t know if you’d eaten since Zattman drugged you, so I ordered us some chicken noodle soup and turkey sandwiches. They were the lightest things on the menu.”

“Thank you, and no, he didn’t feed me, but he gave me a glass of water each morning and expected me to be grateful.”

Fury flashed in Syd’s eyes before he banked it and nodded. “Turn around so I can wash your back.”

“I can—”

“Dammit, Caris, stop fighting me,” he barked. “Look, I know I fucked up, and if I could go back and change the past, I would. Trust me. So, please, stop arguing and let me take care of you.”

His irate tone surprised me, but his confession rocked me to the bone. Clearly, Syd was tired of avoiding the elephant in the room, but I hadn’t expected him to drop the apology bomb here in the shower. Fame and fortune might have provided him the ability to reinvent himself, but I didn’t have that luxury. I was still the same Caris I’d always been, still fighting to survive. If Syd expected something else, he was in for a rude surprise.

“Stop fighting you? Silly man, I haven’t even put my gloves on yet.” I sneered. “Change the past…who are you kidding? Why would you do that? Why would you give up living in the lap of luxury?”

“To be with you.”

“Oh, please.” I rolled my eyes. “You’d trade in all this for