They smelled entirely like Drezden Halifax. Everything about me did.
Running my fingers down my stomach, I glimpsed myself in the mirror across the room. I look the same. I just don't feel the same. Frankly, it baffled me that I didn't feel more different than I did.
It was a new day, but I wasn't a new person.
Outside, a single raised voice pricked my ears. Brenda was shouting without bothering to stifle herself. Whatever she was saying was too garbled to discern. I didn't need to hear the details.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I stared at the missed calls and text messages. My battery was over halfway drained, the time flashing at me, warning me how late in the morning it was. No wonder she's so pissed. We should have been on the road an hour ago. Scrolling through my voicemail showed Brenda had called me eleven times.
My brother had texted me just once: 'We need to talk.'
That message tightened my throat. He knows what Drezden and I did. Imagining how obvious we'd been at the club, how we'd danced—how we'd kissed—in front of so many people... If I thought no one would find out, I'm a moron. A part of me had suspected, maybe even hoped, the world would recognize the pull between the singer and myself.
Faced with the reality in my head-throbbing state was different.
There really is no way to turn the clock back.
Drezden couldn't hide what had happened, either. The lack of options was... freeing. In the world of facts, there was comfort.
The sound of the door opening made me spin around. He entered, seeking me out like a lion on the hunt. Green irises rolled over me, intangible, yet still lifting goosebumps. “Is everything alright?” I croaked, wishing for some water. “Brenda sounded really pissed.”
Drezden pounced. The blankets tangled around me, far less constraining than his fingers in my hair. He tasted stale when we kissed, I didn't care about that... he was intoxicating any time of the day.
But I did care about what my manager had been upset about.
My limbs felt far away as I nudged them onto his shoulders. I succeeded in forcing his lips off of mine. “Drez, what did she say to you?” The breathy way I spoke wasn't intimidating. He indulged me, sitting back and straddling my hips. I was glad I'd dressed. It would have been astronomical to deny him anything with only skin between us.
“Take a guess,” he said. There was a strange smile dancing on the corner of his mouth. I ached to kiss it away, but resisted.
“She's angry about us not being ready and on the tour bus by now. That,” I sighed, “Or about how I'm in your bed right now.”
His fingers crawled down, playing with the top button of his jeans. Just seeing that had my heart jumping, wishing he wouldn't go further while praying otherwise. “Try both.”
Both. Of course it's both. Shimmying up the mattress, I balanced my hands on his thighs. My goal was to detach, to scramble and hurry so we could get downstairs and appease Brenda. I didn't want her mad, I didn't want anyone mad, I didn't want—
Firm hands closed over mine, pressing them like flowers meant to dry in a book. Drezden stopped my struggle. In an instant, he made me freeze where I was and stare up at him. What's that expression he's wearing? His forehead was scrunched, but his mouth was relaxed. Drez's tone didn't match those tempting lips one bit. “You're upset about this, aren't you?” he asked.
It was such an obvious observation. I had to bite back the laugh of disbelief. “You may be used to Brenda getting mad at you, but I'm not. I don't think I really want to get used to it, either.”
The tips of his thumbs crept up to caress my earlobes. He waited until I hissed outward; only then did he speak again. “Tell me why this is bothering you, Lola.”
“I—what?” Isn't it clear?
The turmoil growing in his unfairly handsome face told me it wasn't. “Are you regretting what we did? Regretting last night?”
Last night. Just the words turned my face hot. A thickness overtook my throat, everything numb but my ears under his touch. The power Drezden was so eager to use over me. I didn't care, not right then. What he'd said... Now I understand what his expression means.
Drezden thought that I thought what we'd done was a mistake.