by a rabid tiger. He was going to consume me, he'd said himself that he wanted me. Didn't he realize I wasn't able to cope with that?
Maybe I wasn't as tough as I thought. Maybe my act was backfiring. He thinks I'm tough enough to take him on. That's my own fault for calling him out in the damn tub last night.
Drezden Halifax was a passionate being full of fire and acid and pure stars. He was a star. A fucking poet, as Sean had said.
And I was no one.
Not just no one, I'm a fucking virgin. Rock stars aren't virgins. Holy shit, he'll leave me in pieces. We're on entirely different levels. Different worlds!
He bent down, all lips and smoky smirks. The seconds slowed. I knew he was going to kiss me. Instinct kicked in—fight or flight. In a great flex of muscles, I kicked a leg upwards. My knee landed solidly in his stomach, thudding on his sculpted abs.
Grunting, he let me go and backed up. His eyes were as wide as they could get. “What the fuck was that for?” he growled.
Suddenly I felt... really stupid. “You were—the look in your eyes, I just...”
“Just say no next time! Or stop! Jamming a knee into my guts is kind of over the top. Fuck.” Rubbing his shirt, he looked me up and down. I caught the humor in his sideways sneer. I hadn't injured him, he wasn't even upset. “You really don't want me near you, do you?”
Guilt dug in with its sharp fangs. “It's not that! I actually think you're—” Stop, stop talking! “This just isn't a good idea, for either of us.”
“Why isn't it a good idea for me?”
My lips parted, hesitating. I didn't know why it was bad for him at all. “Fine. I'm being selfish, okay? This is a bad idea for me, for my career.” His grimace was brief, but I saw it. “If it goes bad between us... the band might not recover.”
I was the newest member. If push came to shove, they'd cast me aside and get someone to replace me. I needed this too much.
Sean's face commanding me to realize what an opportunity this was filled my head until my skull twinged. My brother knew how important this was. He'd encouraged me for a reason.
I couldn't bear letting him down when things inevitably went sideways.
Drezden filled my world again. He slid upwards, chest grinding on mine. I gasped, then clenched my jaw. His hands crept down to hold my hips possessively. “So you have thought about us hooking up.”
“No!” Yes. “Never!” Since I listened to you sing during practice yesterday.
That wasn't right—my interest had a longer tooth. I'd had a crush on Drezden Halifax since the first time I'd played his CD. He'd kept me company before he knew my name or my face.
Now, that very man was so close I could rub my nose on his if I just bent forward. “Tell me, Lola,” he sighed, claiming my waist, pulling up the shirt I still wore from the photo shoot and showing off my navel. “Why are you fighting this? I could tell last night that you wanted me.”
Images of his hard body holding me down in the porcelain tub flooded me. “I just told you!” My voice was rising, gaining volume with my confused energy. “I don't want to fuck up the band!”
“But you do want to fuck me," he chuckled darkly.
Ignoring the pulse between my thighs, I said, "I figured you'd care about the band, too.”
He didn't shout over me. He didn't need to. “You think I'm not worried about the band?” The texture in his throat was raw and wet and it begged me to hear him say anything. I was addicted to his voice. “You think I don't care? Lola, it's not about that! It's about being willing enough, strong enough, to take a damn risk!”
Barely standing, his hands were all that kept me on my feet. Take a risk? I knew what it meant to take risks. Sean accused me of not being ready for this band. He goaded me into going to the audition, made me see I was going to miss an opportunity otherwise.
But this wasn't the same thing.
There was noise in the hallway. Drezden released me, backing up and heading for his microphone. I stayed against the wall, my fingers half-bent, my lips hanging partially open in shock. If my mind could have been pulled out, put on display, it would